Page 119 of The Never List
Sure, I can say I’m confident in my role here all I want, but when it came down to it? When he confronted me with the truth?
I froze.
And Ihatethat I don’t even know which secret he uncovered while I submitted my mind to him. Is it that I’m an Ashlander? Or that I’m a demi? Or both?
He’s never once mentioned it in our time together since he brought it up.
And I still don’t have the courage to ask.
Not even as the clock runs out on my time in the Emerald Wood, with only two days left to spend with Pierce.
Pierce, who has been wonderful and accommodating, who has challenged me intellectually and emotionally and connected with me on levels I couldn’t even imagine. Pierce,who knows one of my secrets and hasn’t judged me, yelled at me, or tried to harm me.
Pierce, who is leading me through one of his favorite nightclubs in the Emerald Wood, this one with boisterous live music consisting of strings and piano and brass instruments that fill the space with a melodic rhythm that has people dancing and swaying on the dance floor in practiced moves they somehow all seem to know.
It’s a wonderful distraction, especially as Axl and Kal join us at Pierce’s table. The absence of Jax is so evident it almost hurts. But I ignore the space where he should be sitting and hug Axl and Kal, grateful for this time together.
It isn’t long before Pierce beckons me onto the dance floor.
“I don’t know any of these steps,” I admit when I reach him.
“Just follow my lead, darling,” Pierce says, clearly noting my panic as we step onto the floor among all the dancers simultaneously moving in a rehearsed way.
“Do you trust me?” he asks when I haven’t relaxed as we move, afraid I might make some misstep and be outed for the Ashlander I am.
I meet his gaze and nod. “I trust you.”
How could I not after everything?
Pierce smiles deeply, one hand in mine and the other on my hip as he spins me around the dance floor. The more I relax, the easier the moves become, and then we’re folding right into the crowd of his people, laughing and smiling as we bounce and dip and spin.
Mid-song, Axl sweeps in, scooping me up and inserting himself into the dance, making me laugh harder as we keepup to the beat of the music.
And then it’s Kal leading me, the shift between partners smooth and graceful as they pass me around in a world of music and melody and movement that has my head spinning and my heart racing in the best of ways.
We laugh and dance until I’m no longer thinking about anything outside of the pure joy it is to be with the three of them.
We dance until my feet hurt in my heeled shoes and sweat dots my brow.
We dance as if we have all the time in the world, as if the approaching dawn doesn’t signify my last day in the Emerald Wood.
We dance as if we aren’t going to be expected at a kings’ dinner tomorrow and I won’t be venturing into Jax’s city the day after.
We dance as if none of these problems exist and no obstacles line our paths until this present becomes our future reality.
But eventually the music stops and I have to say goodbye to Kal and Axl one more time.
And even as I tumble into bed with Pierce, exhausted from a brilliant night of fun, I can’t help but cling to this moment, wanting it to last a little longer.
Because I’m terrified that when I go to Jax, he’ll be the one who ends up rejecting me after all, bringing this little fantasy I’ve been living to a crashing, burning end.
…
I fiddle with the spider ring Pierce gifted me, the emerald flickering beneath the lights in the entryway of his home.
“Are you sure I must go now?” I ask, having returned from a thankfully uneventful kings’ dinner. Pierce’s father had been kind to me, even spoken softly when he inquired about my favorite parts of the Emerald Wood, almost as if he regretted our conversation a couple of weeks ago.
And as much as I wanted that dinner to end, it’s hard to say goodbye to Pierce now.
