Page 107 of The Never List
“And you’re sure they’re being genuine?” Ivy whispers, scooting closer, so quiet I can barely hear her question.
I swallow hard, lowering my voice as well, despite Pierce assuring me that I was safe here. “I’ve worried about that since the beginning,” I admit. “Worried they’re playing a part just as much as me in order to come out winners at the end of this…” I sigh. “But I don’t know how to explain it,” I say, returning to my normal vocal level. “The more time I spend with them, the more I feel like they’re being genuine. They aren’t perfect—goddess knows I’ve seen their flaws just as much as they’ve seen mine—but it feels authentic.”
Ivy nods.
“And the Mind?” Layce asks. “Has he been freely reading your thoughts?”
I shake my head. “He respects my privacy.”
Both of them sigh in relief at that, and I finally let go of their hands as we relax into our seats.
“What about the Nightmare?” Layce asks. “How has hebeen since he chose you? We rarely see you together in the illustrations. Not like with the others.”
“Jax is…complicated. And I won’t visit him for another two weeks.”
I glance between my friends, reading the sense of urgency on their faces and laughing softly. “It’s okay,” I say after the server sets a steaming teapot filled with boiled water on the table along with three fine glass teacups, an assortment of teas to choose from, and a tower of delicate treats to eat. “Ask me anything.”
“Are you really okay?” Layce.
“Have the kings discovered anything yet?” Ivy.
“Is the Player good in bed?” Layce.
“Are you going to sayyesin the end?” Ivy.
I laugh around the bite of soft buttery bread I’ve just taken. “Yes, no, beyond amazing, and I’m not sure,” I answer in order. I lean closer to Ivy, speaking my return question directly into her ear, terrified to raise my voice even above release of breath. “Did you change my records?”
Ivy shakes her head, the small cake in her fingers completely forgotten as she stares at me, wide-eyed. “What do you mean?”
“My birthplace,” I say just as quietly.
Ivy gapes at me. “No. Was I supposed to?”
“You really didn’t?” I ask a little louder, glancing between her and Layce.
“Rylee,” Ivy says. “I’ve done nothing but worry since that night. I have connections in the royal records halls, and if I could have changed them, I would have, but I worried they’d already seen them and would get even more suspicious. I don’t know all the rules of this game you’replaying.”
I knew she had connections in the records halls. We’d used those connections before in the very beginning when my sister went missing. Of course we turned up empty-handed, but it’s the reason I thought she was behind my change in birthplace.
My shoulders sink, confusion washing over me in waves. “Someone changed them,” I explain and then quickly fill them in on what’s been happening—the test I underwent the first night from Baydel, the Fader attacks that are no longer seeming so random, Jax’s outspokenness about me being a liar, and everything else in between.
By the time I’m done, we’ve gone through two pots of tea and have already had our snack tower refilled.
“So, Pierce is off meeting with one of his contacts right now in regard to Erin’s whereabouts?” Layce asks after taking another bite of a cookie from the top tier of the tower.
“Yes,” I say. “Once Baydel announced that I did in fact have a sister, I knew there was no point in trying to hide that connection anymore. Not that the Legends ever gave me any reason to worry, but in the beginning, I just didn’t know what to do. And I saw one of her paintings in the Ruby Aire, one that Kal swears was done recently.”
“And you’re certain it was hers?” Layce asks, then immediately flashes me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. That’s a ridiculous question. I know you know Erin inside and out.”
“It’s not a ridiculous question,” I say. “IthoughtI knew Erin.” My heart sinks to my stomach. “But now I’m not so sure. She’s not on a Never List mission. There’s no record of that anywhere. When I came across that painting of hers, Isuddenly found myself questioningeverything.” I blow out a breath. “When I first got chosen and I thought she’d been put on the Never List, I secretly hoped she’d found someone to run away with and was simply off living a happy life. But when faced with that actual reality? A life where she’s free enough to paint in the Ruby Aire? I can’t help but wonder—why haven’t I heard a word from her? Why hasn’t she at least sent a letter explaining where she went?” I try to shove down the emotion tangling in my chest. “For a minute, I thought maybe the painting was a warning and her silence was some form of protection. But I’m not sure of anything anymore. Maybe I didn’t really know her at all.”
The reality of those words catches up in my throat, and my voice cracks.
I take a sip of my minty tea, drinking the subtle flavors down in hopes of covering up how devastating that notion is.
Ivy and Layce both look at me with concerned eyes, their features riddled with confusion. They were just as close with Erin, and sometimes I forget that it’s not justmewho grieves the hole she’s left in our group.
“We all know she likes to go on her little adventures,” Ivy says. “But she’s never done it for this long or without letting any of us know what she was doing. I don’t believe she’d leave you like that.” Ivy shrugs, picking up her teacup and taking a quick sip. “I don’t. She may have met someone at the Choosing, though; we never saw her speaking with anybody that night, but she could have. She went off on her own in the middle of the event. But I don’t see her not telling you if she decided to leave.”
