Page 83 of When the Time Is Right
Tipping his head to the side, he didn’t argue.
“He’d said, ‘Lexie Girl, what good is all this money if I can’t take care of you with it?’ But I refused to move in for weeks. God, I was mad.”
The air in the car got stuffier and close and hot, so I kissed his hand and opened the door, not knowing where exactly I was headed. I needed some breathing room.
Hudson followed behind me up the gravel driveway to the sidewalk that led to the front door. The house had a corner porch, which was odd-looking at first. Brenden had hated it. Then again, he’d bought the property mostly for the land, but I liked the quirky, big double door in the corner and at one time had planned to paint it black to match the shutters.
Under my feet, the deck boards creaked, and I made sure to watch my step as I went. I strolled to the right, tipped the now barren planter to the side, and found the hidden key we’d put there after I’d locked myself out.
Some things never changed. Even my heart felt like it was shredding all over again.
Hudson still didn’t speak, but as I slipped the key into the lock, he put his hands on my shoulders and gave them a tender, supportive squeeze.
Inside, it was just as I’d left it.
My things had all been moved out, but a few random items remained, covered in dust cloths. His ugly hand-me-down recliner. The dining room table and chairs his parents had bought. Although I didn’t walk down the hall, I was sure our bed was still there, collecting dust like everything else.
Tears streaked my face and my breath caught in my chest as the pain reignited.
Using the wall by the fireplace to hold me up, I saw a photo lying on its back.
“I don’t even recognize these people, Hudson. It’s like neither of them exist anymore.”
“Lex, you’re allowed to change.”
I drew a lungful of musty air, knowing he was right, but that didn’t erase my shame or the embarrassment I had for the mess I’d left behind. “I never wanted to be here after that day but didn’t have the strength to let it go, either.”
Hudson paced behind me as if in that place he was forbidden from touching me when it was all he wanted to do. “Why didn’t this all go back to his parents when he passed? You were only twenty-two.”
I never imagined it would come out. Especially not to him, like that, and not while we were standing right in the middle of it all.
“Oh, because we were stupid kids in love and one weekend…” My voice broke, but I had to get it out. Once and for all. “Brenden had a race in Jacksonville, and he convinced me we should go a few days early, so I took a long weekend off from school. When we got to the beach our first night, he told me he didn’t want to wait anymore. That he wanted to marry me the next day.” I laughed, remembering how excited and goofy he had been about all of it. “I can’t totally blame him though. I didn’t want a big wedding. I just wanted him. So the next morning, we went to a walk-in chapel and walked out husband and wife.”
I put the picture back on the ledge and turned to face Hudson. He tried to cover it for my sake, but the surprise was painted all over his handsome face.
“He raced,” I continued. “He won again. He got offered a spot on the circuit. One step closer to big time. So, knowing how busy he’d be, we came home and decided to keep what we’d done a secret until we knew we could plan a reception and set some dates. My parents would have killed me. His family didn’t really care either way as long as he was happy. In fact, they’d given him their blessing to elope.” I grinned, feeling the burning in my eyes, when I met Hudson’s gaze. “But the very next weekend, he went fishing…and you know the rest.”
I’d never told a soul, and saying it out loud felt like both a confession and a betrayal.
My shaky fingers covered my mouth, and Hudson’s face was totally blank.
“I was married for eight days. With school, I didn’t even have time to change my name. I made his mom and dad swear not to say anything. I gave them money from his insurance policy to pay for and make the arrangements, but I insisted they only refer to me as his fiancée in the paper and at the service.” What a coward I had been, but I’d also been so damn lost. “It was just too much to deal with.”
He stared at me as if I were a stranger, and that hurt too, but I deserved it.
