Page 17 of When the Time Is Right
He wasn’t wrong there. Being best friends with Cal meant dealing with Lex’s personal style of insanity for well over a decade. I was a trained professional.
While Cal rattled off random stories from his honeymoon, all talks of the pool temporarily forgotten, I half listened and half put together an estimate for Alexis’s cat condo. Sure, I quoted all top-grade materials including quartz countertops and bamboo flooring, I even added gold leafing to the ceilings, bringing the grand total to over seventy thousand dollars.
Don’t worry. Before I hit send, I made sure to deduct her Friends and Family discount of fifty dollars. I was a real giver like that.
Her text reply was so fast that I wasn’t sure how she’d had time to even download my proposal.Lex: Seventy Gs?! Have you lost your board-cutting, lumber-yard-loitering, power-tool-crazed ever-loving mind?Me: Sticker shock? Cat mansions aren’t cheap, Kid.Lex: Being a CEO has gone to your head. You egocentric, price-gouging whoremonger. What exactly is the point of having a contractor for a best friend?Me: Well, obviously my stunning good looks and flawless wit. Why else?Lex: Stunning? Flawless? So humble. No wonder my cats hate you.I chuckled and clicked the reply button when Cal’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“And then a gang of iguanas swarmed our room, grabbed Vanessa, and dragged her into the woods to be their new queen.”
I leaned back in my chair and stared at Cal. “Wait, what? Whose queen?”
He shot me a glower. “Oh, good. I have your attention again.”
“Sorry, Lex was just—”
“Lex is always just fill-in-the-blank-with-something-ridiculous-and-crazy with you these days. I swear, you two are like an old married couple at this point.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Of course we’re closer now. You abandoned us and spent the last six months planning a three-ring circus with Vanessa. For real, man. I was shocked she allowed you to attend your own bachelor party.”
He arched an eyebrow incredulously. “You mean the bachelor party you invited my sister to? Let me tell you, there wasn’t enough eye bleach in the world to end my suffering after watching my Lex tuck dollar bills into a stripper’s thong with her teeth.”
I barked a loud laugh. “Okay, first off. She wasn’t a stripper, nor was she wearing a thong. She was a bartender who danced on the bar for one song. You were just too damn busy standing outside, talking to your fiancée on the phone, to see the part where Lex took a shot from her cleavage. She had to pay for the drink somehow.”
His mouth fell open, and I paused for a brief second.
“You know what? On second thought, it’s probably good you missed that.”
He nodded emphatically. “Ya think?”
“Relax. It was a fun night.”
“It was, but only because watching Lex hustle you out of a hundred dollars on the pool table really took the sting out of the dancing bartender.”
“How the hell is she so good at pool? Did you have a table growing up?”
“Nope.” He stood from his chair. “How is she so good at everything competitive? It’s Lex. I’ve learned not to question or challenge the secrets of the universe.” Heading for the door, he shoved his hand into the pocket of his slacks. Yes, he was wearing khakis on a Saturday. How we were friends, I’d never understand.
“Where are you going? You didn’t finish telling me about Bermuda.”
“I’m going to find my wife while you sit and giggle on the computer with my sister all day. Tell her I said hi. I’m sure you’ll see her before I do.”
“Not if you actually showed up to Huey’s on Thursday!” I called after him. “Last I checked, you’re allowed to have a life even after you get married.”
He stopped at the door and turned to face me. “One day, Hudson, you’ll meet a woman who will actually want to put her mouth on your cock, and I promise you hanging out at Huey’s, playing Laverne and Shirley with Lex, will no longer be a priority for you, either.”
“You’re a dick.” I laughed and rocked back in my chair. Though he…had a point. A blow job did sound pretty fucking nice. “We can talk about the plans for the pool if you show on Thursday.”
“No pool. Just be a normal person for once and go buy a damn set of crystal salt and pepper shakers like everyone else.”
My brow shot up my forehead. “Shit. Who buys crystal salt and pepper shakers?”
He let out a long-suffering sigh. “Judging by the box of them in my car on the way back to Pottery Barn, about thirty percent of our wedding guests.” He patted the door frame. “I’ll try to make it on Thursday, but if Vanessa surprises me with more lingerie, just know that I love you like a brother, but I’ll never choose you over that.”
