Page 84 of When the Walls Come Down
What was it? So I hadn’t gone hard enough—to the point where my family had had to knock me out of the nest…twice. Then, when I took their advice, I went and made a move and it was too much?
“You’re thirty-three, man, and listen, I’m not saying there’s a damn thing wrong with wanting a family and to settle down and find your place in this crazy world. But you can’t spring it on someone like that and just expect them to fall in line the second the mood strikes you.” He paused. “You need to talk to her.”
I cradled my head in my hands. “Oh, I will. She sent me a text to let me know where she went Saturday so I wouldn’t worry, but it also said we need to talk. So it’s coming.”
“Did you tell her you love her?” he asked, his voice low and more serious than usual.
“No, but I asked her if she loved me and she didn’t answer.”
He offered me a sympathetic smile, stood, and tapped the edge of my desk. “Take it from someone who has made this mistake. You can’t expect anything from a woman when you’re not willing to give her anything.”
“I offered her everything though.”
“Yeah, maybe. But did you bother asking her what she wanted first? And for fuck’s sake, tell her how you feel.”
He left, but I wasn’t sure his advice would make any difference. But as the day went on and I kept looking across the hall at her empty chair, the more I realized Casey was right.
I’d never asked her what she wanted. I’d assumed, and for that, I owed her an apology and maybe even an explanation.
So when I got home, I slipped my kneepads on and crawled to my spot beside our wall. Funny how she wasn’t even there, but it felt like the easiest place to reach out to her…even through the phone.Me: Hey, Peach.Before I’d even hit send, I reminded myself that she was with her brother, so I didn’t get my hopes up too high that she’d respond. But as I popped the top off my beer, I saw the most beautiful three dots appear.Maggie: Hey yourself.I’m not going to bullshit—I downed about half the bottle of lager and psyched myself up by stretching my arms as if preparing for a Jiu Jitsu grapple against someone more badass than I was. Then again, she was pretty fucking badass and totally worth the fight.Me: I know you said we’d talk when you got back from your trip, and if you’re busy it’s okay. I just need to get something off my chest really quick.Maggie: Shane, don’t do this. Please. We don’t want the same things. I can’t be who you want.Me: I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you like that. Especially not before we talked about stuff we want in the future. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. And I miss you.Maggie: …The dots hung out for about a minute, and I knew there was one last thing I had to say before she possibly shut me down again—forever.Me: Maggie Peach Light Gray Italian, I fucking love you with all my big, fat, old-ass heart, and I don’t care what we do in the future. I just don’t want one without you in it. So think about what it is YOU want, and we’ll talk when you get home.Me: And if you can reach it without snapping your gorgeous fucking head off, give that shoulder a goodnight kiss from me.“Ow, ow, ow,” I panted, dabbing my skinned knee with a champagne-soaked cocktail napkin.
He loved me.
He loved me.
Damn it, I knew it, but seeing that confirmation on the screen both sliced me deep and momentarily quelled the pain from the gaping hole in my chest.
Unfortunately, it was only ever going to be momentary.
Fuck, he loved me.
The lights of LA danced in front of me as music played quietly on the speakers on my laptop. I had to give it to Rubicon; they had spared no expense with that hotel suite for Heath. Two bedrooms, two baths, champagne, and a whole basket of chocolate and various snacks. Though that last part might have been my brother’s doing. It really messed with him to see me so upset without the first way to fix it.
Fix it. Ha!
Well, what do you know? They do say women are drawn to men who remind them of their father.
And while Shane wasn’t the drunk who’d taken off when I was kid, he and Heath shared quite a few qualities I wasn’t anywhere ready to think about for fear of never being able to have sex again.
Shit, maybe I should have focused on those.
It was late, and Heath and his best friend/boss, Roman Leblanc, had gone out to dinner. They’d tried to drag me along, but I was horrible company. Probably even worse now that Shane had finally replied to my text.
