Page 79 of When the Walls Come Down
“I never wanted you to give up the job for me, Shane.”
“I didn’t. I did it for us. You deserve that position just as much as I do. Probably more. The job was already yours—frankly, I had no choice. Now, we can actually give this”—I motioned between us—“a shot. We can be together—really together—without anyone at the brewery suspecting any nepotism or favoritism.” Grinning, I stared down at our joined hands, imagining my ring on her finger. “We can move in together. Maybe share my place while I get the business off the ground, and once things take off, I can see us finding a house somewhere quiet and safe where we could raise a family.”
I should have looked up. If there was ever a moment in my entire life in which I should have been peering deep into her eyes, that was it. But I didn’t. I just kept talking. “A house. A yard. A fucking white picket fence if you want. The biggest fucking lilac bush you’ve ever seen. Some mouthy, blond kids. It can all be ours now.”
And that’s when I finally looked up.
The minute her panic-stricken eyes locked with mine, I heard the actual boom of that dream exploding.
She snatched her hand away. “What the hell are you talking about? We can’t move in together.”
“Come on, Maggie. Think about it. We can do anything now.”
“Uhhh, we’ve known each other for less than a month, Shane. I haven’t even gotten my driver’s license changed from Georgia to California.” Lifting her thumbnail to her mouth, she started to pace. “I just got here. I just got out on my own. And you’re talking about buying houses and having kids?” Her voice rose, and her big, blue eyes flared. “You don’t see how you’re rushing things? Rushing me?”
I scratched my neck.
Obviously, she felt like some of this was too fast, and perhaps it was, but now that I’d put my life into motion, I didn’t want it to stall again. That’s when life fell apart for me. That’s when I always messed things up. I didn’t want to be that guy who always got to the next step and then froze.
“Well, I can see how it might sound like that while we’re arguing about what I thought was going to be great news in the middle of an alley before nine a.m. But to me? Honestly, no. It’s not too fast. Not for me. For once in my life, I know what I want. It’s you, Peach. I just fucking want you.”
She laughed, equally gorgeous and terrifying.
Inwardly, I shivered.
“Shane, don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, we could go on…oh, I don’t know…a third date first before we decided to cohabitate? Or a fourth or a fortieth? We barely even know each other.”
“What? That’s not true.” I ran my hands through my hair.
She stomped her foot. “What’s my middle name?”
“What?” I didn’t see why that mattered. “Elliot.”
“How in the fuck did you know that?” It was the right answer, but you’d have never known by the look on her bright-red face.
“I saw it in your file at work.”
“Well, I don’t know yours.” She tugged and tightened the braid at her shoulder. “What was my first dog’s name?”
“Am I supposed to know this? Why are you so mad? I was trying to fix it for us.”
“Fix it?” she shouted, albeit through her tightly clenched teeth. “There is no us. We aren’t even in a relationsh—remember? You couldn’t even say the word, and I’m not even completely unpacked yet. You’ve decided what you want with your life—and that’s great—but now I’m just supposed to give up my apartment and move?”
“Peach, you’re freaking the fuck out. I didn’t mean right now. I’m not trying to force you into anything. Hell, it’s not like I’ve hired us a realtor, bought a ring, and booked a church…yet. I’m just saying we can move forward. We can do whatever we want.”
She spun, throwing her hands into the air. “You’ve lost it. You’ve totally lost your mind.”
I was hearing her and seeing her, but it felt like I was participating in a completely different conversation. Like I was missing something huge, and for the life of me, I couldn’t grasp what it was.
When she finally stopped pacing and shaking out her hands, she looked me directly in the eyes. “I don’t think I can do this.”
I looked around, and although we weren’t drawing a crowd, there was no way the people eating on their gated sidewalk patio couldn’t overhear at least part of what was going on.
“You’re right. Let’s talk about this later.” Which I had been fine with to begin with. She was the one who had basically dragged me out by my collar.
When we got home and could be alone, it would be easier to get on the same page. It would have been even better had I been able to make it to Two Ships the night before—for more than one reason. I could have told her everything when tensions hadn’t been so high, and I wouldn’t have had to imagine her with someone else the whole night.
