Page 49 of When the Walls Come Down
With his hands on his hips, Casey shook his head. “It’s a shitty situation for you two, especially if you’re dating now—which I expect you both to be discreet about—but I’ll give you a month. Then one of you is out. May the best man or woman for the job win.” He walked to the door, calling behind himself, “Good fucking luck. Keep up the good work.”
There it was, in black and white. The gauntlet had been thrown and it was either his head or mine on the chopping block.
We both just sat there, quietly thinking.
How could this possibly work out well for either of us?
How had we gotten into this mess?
And was there even a fair way out?
Eventually, in silence, we left the boardroom together, neither of us knowing what to say. It was like yet another huge win—we’d killed it today working together. Another time when we should have been hightailing it out of the brewery to celebrate.
Yet, at the end of the day, we were no better for the wear. In fact, I was in a worse position, now with Casey’s new stance on letting Shane fight to keep his job.
We walked out of Bay Brewing side by side, but I already knew we were no longer together.I wanted off this roller-coaster ride—or whatever the hell you’d call it. Because roller coasters didn’t mess with your professional life. Roller coasters didn’t make you have a damn near minute-to-minute ethics argument with yourself. Roller coasters didn’t make you second-guess your worth or your morality.
However, my stomach was in knots, I didn’t know what was coming next, I felt a severe case of whiplash, and I wanted to scream.
Damn Casey—and Blake too, for that matter—for not talking to me about these changes before they went on a nationwide head-hunt. Then again, they’d brought Maggie into my life, and no matter what was about to happen, there was no denying I was better for having met her.
We walked down the street. Not holding hands. Not talking. Not knowing what the future looked like for either of us. What we had together was new, and I wasn’t sure that even couples who’d been together years and years longer than we had could weather it, both coming out unscathed on the other side.
This was our livelihoods we were dealing with.
There was one thing I was sure of. Neither of us was prepared to give up on Bay Brewing.
Additionally, I was getting in too deep with Maggie. So deep I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fight my way back again.
Was it best for everyone if I just backed off?
My gut and chest ached because I knew what had to be done.
“Peach—er, Maggie,” I said as we trudged up the last hill before we hit our block. “We need to talk.” There was only one card I could play to ensure I didn’t lose her completely. There was a bench outside of the coffee shop I liked, the one I’d shown her on our pseudo-date, and I gestured for her to take a seat outside it.
“I think I know what you’re going to say,” she began as she sat, “and—”
“No, I don’t think you do.” I unbuttoned my jacket and sat a little farther away than I would have preferred, but I had to start somewhere and that felt like at least a first step. “This isn’t going to work between us.”
“Shane—”
“No, please. Just let me get this out before I change my mind.” Hunching forward, I steepled my hands on my lap and stared at my shoes. “I care about you. A lot. A fuck of a lot more than I probably should this quick or this soon. But I also care about my job—which I’m not ashamed of. I love it there. But here we are, vying for the same position, and deep down, it’s crazy, but I’m rooting for both of us.” I scratched the back of my stiff neck and ran my hand over another full day’s stubble. “The problem is, I know where this thing between me and you is going—for me at least. I can feel it. I can tell it’s only going to get stronger on my end. And no matter the way the cookie crumbles at work, I don’t think it’s something we’ll make it through. It’s too much. Too soon.”
She was picking at her nails, not looking at me, either, watching the pedestrians as they passed. “I know. I thought the same thing earlier.”
“I think the best outcome I can fathom right now is that we be friends—if you want—and both go at this job with integrity and professionalism. I hate to admit it. I hate to even think about it. But if you get the job and I have to figure something else out, you’ll do great. Bay will be lucky to have you. And if for some reason it goes a different way and I stay, I hope you find something else you want just as badly. You deserve that.”
