Page 53 of When the Walls Come Down
I waited for him to continue, and after several beats, he let out a loud humorless laugh.
“Aren’t we a fucking pair. You came here to live for your mother and I came to Bay because I had no idea how to live for myself. You know this was a charity job at first? It was Blake’s way of coming to her big brother’s rescue. I was a fucking mess when I got here. Few years back, I came home from work to find my wife in bed with my best friend.”
My back shot straight, and I sucked in a sharp breath that I prayed he hadn’t heard.
“Yeah. Awesome, right?”
Shit. He’d heard. “Shane—”
“No. No. No. I’m not telling you this for the pity. Kari and I were terrible together. She always made me out to be this horrible guy, and as sad as it may sound, I started to believe it. Looking back, I don’t even know why we got married. But, man, what a slap in the face. They weren’t even sneaky or creative about it. Just broad daylight, fucking in my own damn bed of all places.”
I swallowed hard, unsure how to respond, but I wanted him to know I was still there, hanging on his every word. “She sounds awful.”
“She was. But you know what sucked the most is she made me awful too. After the divorce, I quit my job, moved in with my parents, gained a bunch of weight, and spent a year feeling sorry for myself while the world continued to spin under my feet. Watching Blake with her own struggles was the only thing that started to snap me out of it.” He paused and let out a low groan. “God, I must be turning you on over there, pouring out all my shit like this. Nothing sexier than a man and his baggage.”
“You sound honest, Shane. There’s nothing more attractive than that.”
He cleared his throat. “Right. At least I have that going for me.”
He actually had a lot going for him, none of which he was about to tell me. But I liked hearing about his past. Where he’d been and how far he’d come. “So, what happened when you got here?”
“A lot happened. Some of it by choice. Some of it by necessity. I found a job I love. Something I was really and truly good at. Something that brought me back to life when I thought I was past the point of salvage. Then I found the gym and got my confidence back. I found an apartment I loved. Though, being scared of heights, I really fucking hated the balcony until recently. And then for a brief moment in time, I’d found a crazy blonde I thought I could one day see a future with.”
My heart stopped, and I’m sure he was trying to be sweet, but it felt like a punch to the stomach. For that same brief moment in time, I’d thought I’d wanted that future with him too. If anything though, this conversation had proved that was never going to happen.
He needed that job just as much as I did.
It was my escape.
But it was his refuge.
It was an impossible situation. Trying to hold on to the life you want, all the while hoping the world crumbles for the person you care about most. Who knew serendipity was such a masochist?
Desperate to get the boulder of emotion off my chest, I tried for a levity. “The height thing explains why you were on your hands and knees over there.”
“Damn. You saw that. I just keep getting hotter by the minute, don’t I?”
“I’m not complaining. You have a great ass.”
“I do, don’t I?”
I smiled as though he could see me even as tears pricked the backs of my eyes. “Shane,” I croaked, rising to my feet.
“Yeah, Peach?”
The words barely formed around the lump in my throat. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at an orange Tic Tac again.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able not to.”
At that exact moment, the broken pieces of my heart shattered at my feet. Good, maybe without it, this wouldn’t hurt so bad anymore.
“I really hope you get to keep your job, Shane. And I hope you know I truly mean that.”
“You too, Maggie. I hope you wipe the floor with me.”
Oh fuck. Now, I was crying. Why did he have to be such a good guy?
“Night, Shane.”
“Night, Peach.”
I waited with my hand on the door, listening for the movement on his side of the wall. Broken heart aside, I didn’t want him drunk and hanging out on that balcony alone.
“Any chance you can crawl inside now?”
He barked a laugh. “Quit busting my balls, woman. I’m going.”
I waited until his door shut.
And then I spent the night wishing it never had.Dear God, it’s me. Shane, your favorite patsy. If you could do me a solid and strike me color blind, that would be great. Seriously, a blue dress? And did you have to make it that blue? At this point, I feel like you’ve done it just to smite me.
