Page 40 of Written with You (The Regret Duet 2)
“He’s confused,” he stated, thus making me confused.
“Huh?”
“Caven. He’s confused. He misses Hadley. Well, he misses you when you were Hadley. Now, he has these different versions of you. Willow the little girl. Willow the woman who lied to him. Willow the sister of his daughter’s mother. And he can’t figure out what compartment to put you in in his head.”
I blinked at him. “What are you talking about? All of those people are me.”
“Right. But Caven doesn’t live his life that way. Ever since…” He glanced around the cleaning aisle then lowered his voice. “Ever since that day, he lives his life in neat little mental boxes. He has one for work. One for Rosalee. One for me. One for Trent. One for the mall. And every box has its place. Because inside those boxes in his head, he doesn’t just get to decide what goes in them. He decides what stays out.”
He popped his eyebrows pointedly. “But you were different. I didn’t understand it while it was happening, but when you were Hadley, Caven started this one big box for you in his head. You were Rosalee’s mom, the one thing he’d always wished he had growing up. And you knew about his past, so whether he wanted that to be in your box or not, it didn’t matter. And then there was just you. The beautiful woman who made the Tin Man feel.” He grinned. “Now those people all live in different compartments. He’s mad at the woman who lied to him. He misses the woman he was falling in love with. And he is damn near paralyzed by guilt when he’s around the girl from the mall.” He shrugged. “He’s confused.”
I shifted my eyes from side to side, waiting for the music from The Twilight Zone to start playing. “I’m sorry. Don’t you hate me?”
He laughed. “No. I hated your sister. I hated her for getting pregnant and never telling him. I hated her for dropping the baby off on his doorstep. And I hated her for never looking back after she abandoned the most incredible child I have ever met.”
I opened my mouth, but he lifted his hand.
“I read the journals. I know she had her reasons. But I’ve seen Caven with Rosalee, so I know there is a difference between struggling and giving up. Several times since she was born, Caven has needed help, but you would have to pry that child from his lifeless arms before he’d ever let her go.”
My chest got tight. He definitely had a point there. Hadley had had her problems, but she’d absolutely given up on her daughter. She hadn’t spent the four years after Rosalee was born lost in the past, unable to see through the fear. She’d laughed. She’d painted beautiful pictures. She’d had boyfriends. She’d gone to rehab. She’d relapsed. She’d been obsessed with the nonexistent woman from the mall. She’d traveled to and from Puerto Rico to visit me. She’d lived a full life, all while her child had been out there living one without her.
His hand came down on my shoulder. “You didn’t do those things, Willow. You could have come back like a raging tornado, fighting for custody, dragging Caven through the mud, and using every resource you had to take Rosalee. But you didn’t. You tiptoed in and made paper flowers at his dining room table. I don’t like the lies you told, but I don’t have any reason to hate you, either.”
I bit my bottom lip. Damn, why did that feel so good? “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“He doesn’t hate you, either, ya know.”
“Yeah. He’s mentioned that. But then, shortly after, he said he wanted to forget me, so I’m not holding out hope that things between us are going to change any time soon.”
He shrugged. “With fifteen years of experience dealing with Caven Hunt, I can tell you that you need to pick a box. Your name is Willow, but you’re still the Hadley that came back. Make him remember that. He’s confused.” He smiled again, his hand leaving my shoulder to tuck inside the pocket of his slacks, and he lowered his voice to a whisper. “Un-confuse him.”
“How?” I begged. “Just tell me how?”
“Now, that I don’t know. I’ve personally never tried to make him fall in love with me.” He winked and dipped his chin. “Have a good weekend, Willow.”
“You too,” I managed to croak as I watched him walk away.
He’d said a lot of words. Most of which I understood, but the concept of un-confusing Caven after all the hell I’d put him through seemed impossible.
But maybe he’d said it best…
Our entire lives were one impossibility after another.
I could make him remember that I was still the same woman who eye-fucked him from across the room, curled into his lap every chance I got, and laughed with him over cheesecake. I could fit into whatever box he wanted me to as long as it got me him.
