Page 29 of Written with Regret (The Regret Duet 1)
In theory, she was right. Keira or Rosalee—it didn’t matter. Though the idea of someone erasing my mother’s name did make my heart feel like it was being crushed.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” I croaked.
She gave my hand a squeeze. “Bad? Absolutely. But it’s also the right thing to do.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this. Seeing him again…” I shook my head. “He was so mad.”
“He just doesn’t understand. He loves that little girl. We all love that little girl. But Caven is assuming the worst.”
“Maybe I am the worst when it comes to him,” I whispered.
“Oh, come on. Now, you’re just wallowing in pity. You aren’t the worst. Unless we are talking about singing, in which case you are absolutely the worst.”
She’d been cracking jokes all afternoon, but I didn’t have it in me to laugh.
“I don’t know. I want this to be a good thing for her, ya know? I didn’t have a mom growing up, and she’s already missed out on so much. But today, when I saw her looking out that window… She was so scared, Beth.”
“She was scared because Caven was scared. Kids can sense that kind of stuff.”
“Oh, he wasn’t scared. He was pissed.”
“He told the police you were trying to kidnap his daughter. Pissed or not, trust me, the man was scared.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face. It was late, but she was right. I probably didn’t need to be alone that night. “Any chance you can drop me off at the cemetery?”
“Now? Are you crazy?”
“Please. I need to feel her. I need to feel all of them.”
She tore her eyes off the road long enough to give me an appraising glance. “I really, really, really don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I’m not asking, Beth. I’m going whether you drop me off there or at home.”
She groaned. “Fine. But I’ll wait in the car. I don’t want you to be out there all alone at night.”
I nodded. There were no more words left to say. At least not to her.
We drove in silence for over an hour to the Watersedge Cemetery.
When we arrived, the main gate was locked, but the walk-through beside it was always open.
“I’ll be right here,” Beth called as I climbed out of her car.
“Thanks,” I murmured.
It wasn’t far to my family’s plot. My grandpa had bought it when my grandmother died. I was six at the time, and he’d told my father that he wanted his whole family to be together. So, morbid as it was, he’d bought one large enough for all of us.
Little did he know how quickly it would fill up.
I’d been to that cemetery no fewer than a thousand times throughout the years. First with my father to deliver flowers to my grandma’s grave. Then, only a few years later, I went with my grandfather to deliver flowers to my parents final resting spot.
But that night, as I forged through the darkness, I went to visit them as the only surviving member of the Banks family.
That is if I didn’t count…Rosalee.
There was a white-speckled headstone with all of their names listed. The newest addition being added only four months prior.
The inscription was simple, much like my parents’. But seeing it there nearly brought me to my knees every time.
Willow Anne Banks.
Loving daughter and sister.
I went to her first.
It was still so fresh that the tears were already pouring from my eyes by the time I reached the dirt rectangle. Due to the winter, the grass hadn’t grown back yet.
But she was there.
They were all there.
“Hey,” I said, dusting a few leaves off the headstone.
Not surprisingly, she didn’t answer.
I had so many things to tell her. Things like: It was going to be okay. And to just keep fighting. I wanted to tell her about living for the seconds and savoring the good times. But none of that mattered anymore.
She was gone.
They were all gone.
Unable to choke out anything else for my sister, I moved on to my mother.
Keira Hollis Banks
Loving mother and wife.
“I saw her today,” I whispered as if it were a secret rather than a fact. “Little Keira. I saw her.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he’d changed her name. My mother was dead and I still wanted to make her happy. “She’s so pretty, Mama.” I sniffled, wiping the tears away as I looked to my father’s spot beside her. “Sorry, Dad, but she looks like Mom’s side of the family. She has gorgeous red hair and green eyes. I swear those Hollis genes must be pretty potent, because her father…” My voice gave out. I couldn’t even say his name without it feeling like I was being hit by a truck.
I cleared my throat and continued. “Anyway. I’m trying not to get my hopes up because I know it’s going to be a long road. But, God, I want to be a part of her life. There’s so much I want to give her, so much I want to teach her.” Emotion once again clogged my throat. “But most of all, I just want her to have a mom. It was so hard growing up without you. No offense, Grandpa,” I half laughed as I looked down the line of graves. “I don’t want her to struggle any more than she already has. I think that’s what I’m most worried about. What if I’m only hurting her more? She seems to have a good life with him. What if she doesn’t need me?”
