Page 97 of The Woman Who Couldn't Scream
After that, there was only terror and pain, struggling and being unwillingly bound to a will and a strength that were not her own. Then rebirth into a new Kateri. She had been broken and rebuilt by pain, struggle and anguish. Now she shared his powers.
She could make the earth shake.
She could make the waters rise.
She didn’t want those powers; when she used them, she became less human, and each time she didn’t know if she could find her way back to humanity. But knowing she could change the course of events, right wrongs, serve justice—that was a constant temptation, and she knew her resistance displeased the frog god.
Now she went to him in abject supplication to wholeheartedly offer herself.
As she gazed across the midnight sea, the full moon rose in all its splendor and laid a white path across the roiled waters leading her to eternity.
It was a sight she’d never seen before… because she faced west across the Pacific, and the moon did not rise in the west. “Oh.” She was on a metaphysical beach. Or maybe metaphorical. Whatever it was, the frog god had brought her here so they could speak. She lifted the bottle. She spoke. “I have a gift for you. I think you’ll like it.”
The wave rolled to her knees and retreated, rolled to her knees, paused and retreated. She placed the bottle in the sand. The wave rolled to her knees, captured the bottle and sucked it into the depths.
He was listening. Foolish of her to doubt it.
“I come in supplication. I wish to bring life to my friend Rainbow. You remember her. She delivered me. She has stood by me steadfastly through many trials. She always loved nature, loved the sea, and she believed me when I said you had taken me. She believed me. That counts for something, doesn’t it? She was hurt because of me, and she deserves life. I would give my own life for hers.” Kateri stretched out her arms to the ocean and waited.
The waves kept rolling, in and out, ceaseless and uncaring.
“Rainbow is dying. There have been times in the past when you let me bring someone back from the brink. Lacey. You let me save Lacey. I thank you for that gift. She is dear and wonderful. This time, with Rainbow, the situation is more delicate and I need—”
A wave rose high, crashed hard, rolled up the beach to touch her toes. And retreated.
“Okay. You know why I need help. I know for this large favor, I owe a sacrifice beyond even a bottle of port. Really good port. Expensive port. Bertha said so and you know Bertha knows her liquors.”
The ocean sloshed and somehow managed to look bored.
Hastily Kateri added, “I’ve wondered what might please you. Do you want me to serve you and you alone? I can quit the job of sheriff and become a hermit and be your devoted servant, trying always to do as you wish.”
A wave crashed again, rolled toward her…
Before it could touch her, she said, “But I would like to say I believe that would be a mistake. I’m a damned good sheriff and as a representative of the Native Americans, I impress the citizens, no matter how reluctant they are, and the media.”
The wave retreated.
Telling the frog godthatwas probably a mistake.
“I can sacrifice other things of importance to me. What would you wish? I can give you chastity, should you demand it. If you wish me to be a chaste vessel dedicated only to you, I will do so. Stag isn’t speaking to me anyway. I don’t believe you give a damn about my body or you would have kept it in the first place. But I have to offer it. It’s traditional.”
Bored ocean. Again.
She said, “I can sacrifice my ambitions. Perhaps my emotions. My loves, my hates.”
More waves, sloshing back and forth, back and forth.
“You can’t have my dog,” she said definitively.
More waves. More sloshing.
“I can sacrifice my… I don’t know. My grudges?”
Far out at the edge of the inlet, a wave rose, silent, menacing, glistening with moonlight.
“My grudges? My grudge against… my baggage? My…” Oh, God. Here on the edge of the continent where she’d been born to a woman broken from her lover’s betrayal, Kateri had to forgive the man who had taken her mother’s heart and ripped it like tissue. “You want me to forgive my father.” The wave climbed higher. She stood up. She shouted, “What difference does it make? He’s dead. Even if he wasn’t, my judgment meant nothing to him. No one meant anything to him. All he cared about was duty, success, being untouched by scandal. Why would you even care whether I forgive him?”
The frog god didn’t answer. Except that wave crashed and retreated.
