Page 53 of Into Ruin

I take one last look at him. His perfect fucking face. The chill in his expression.

He doesn’t care at all. He doesn’t seem to even mind about the body lying several feet away from him, and the blood sprayed across the locker room.

“Go,” he orders.

I hate him.I repeat that when I pause to pull on my shoes. I repeat it when I exit the locker room, my spine straight, not daring to look back. I say it again out on the sidewalk.

When I’m in the car.

When my ticket is scanned on the train to Boston.

I hate him, I tell myself when I shed the first of many,manytears.

My heart breaks, and no one on the train gives a shit about my crying. About my life being ripped out from under me.

About never seeing my brother again.

When I unlock my phone screen and go through the new apps. Then, reflexively, I check WatchMe, only to find my stalking account has been logged out—andThe Voyeuraccount has been logged in.

I can finally see the exact number of paying subscribers, and the bank account that’s connected is now also on my phone. It’s in my name.

He gave me control of this one thing while ripping away all the rest.

So why does it feel like the thinnest of lifelines?

I take a breath and fight the instinct to delete the whole page. I can’t—not if I am going to survive on my own. No asking mybrother for help. I can’t handle asking my parents either. Telling them anything but the truth will fall short, and I will not risk that.

Camden said to make something up, but I don’t have a single thought in my head. No lie to justify why I’m running away.

I block Royal’s number and shut down my phone. I rest my head against the train window. My breath comes out in a long, slow exhale.

I’m on my own. It’s terrifying. It’s disorienting.

But it also feels like freedom.

TO BE CONTINUED inRuined God.