Page 118 of The Ragpicker King
The door to the apartments burst open. Kel could hear the alarmed voice of a Castelguard in the corridor, but Anjelica sailed past him and into the room.
She looked magnificent in saffron silk, thin gold chains at her wrists and ankles. There was something about her that seemed different from any time Kel had ever seen her before. He had seen her nervous, even worried, but never without a layer of cool control. Even when preparing to deal with Laurent Aden, she had been calm, but now—
Conor waved pleasantly at her, as if out the window of a carriage. “Care for a hand of Sixes?” he offered. “I am a wretched player myself, which should afford you a satisfying and easy victory—”
“You told me,” Anjelica snapped, her voice icy, “that you would not humiliate me.”
Conor did not move or react. Only the muscles around his mouth tightened—and someone who was not Kel would not have seen it. “You will have to elaborate on what you mean,” he said slowly, and Kel could tell he was taking whatever time he could togather his thoughts. “Is it my outfit? My tailor did warn me against pairing burgundy with teal—”
“You were seen,” Anjelica said evenly. “The night of the Solstice Ball.”
“It was a public event,” said Conor. “I imagine I was seen often, yes.”
“When you left the Armory,” Anjelica said. “I assumed you had been called away on some matter of state, something that was urgent. Instead, I find out today from Kurame that you were fornicating with some commoner. In public. Where anyone could see you.” She bit off each word as if she were snapping at it.
“What?” Kel said. He looked at Conor, half prepared for angry denial. It did not come. Conor’s expression hovered somewhere between resignation and relief.This has been weighing on him,Kel thought, through his own growing anger.This is what has been troubling him, of all things. Perhaps he is even glad to be caught.
He wondered, too, who it had been—but he could not ask Conor that now.
“It was an error in judgment,” said Conor, “and not planned. Though I understand that may make no difference to you,Ayakemi.”
“Do not use that word when speaking to me.” Color burned high on Anjelica’s cheeks. “You play with honorifics that mean nothing to you, yet you will not treat me with honor.”
Conor’s eyes flared with anger. “Do you have your brother spying on me?”
“Conor,” Kel interrupted. “Apologize.”
For the first time, Anjelica looked at Kel, this time with some surprise. She must be wondering if he had known, Kel thought. If he had been protecting Conor at the ball, even when he’d been dancing with her.
Kel rose to his feet. “I should go,” he said. “This is personal business—”
Gold bracelets clinked as Anjelica threw up her hand. “No. Stay. For you are part of this.”
“Kel isnotpart of this,” said Conor. He stood up, facing Anjelica directly. “I only told him I was leaving the ball—nothing more, and certainly not why. I am sure we can all agree it is better my absence was not noted.”
Anjelica said, “We agreed that you would be discreet, and I assumed you knew whatdiscreetmeant. It doesnotmean leaving your Sword Catcher to take your place at a ball so you could meet some courtesan in one of your mother’s ridiculous follies, where anyone could see you. It happened to be Kurame this time, and he will tell no one. But it could have been any member of the Charter Families. Then how long do you think it would have been before everyone knew? And the shame would not be yours. It would be mine.”
Conor passed a hand across his face. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Anjelica,” he said with a sort of weary self-loathing that surprised Kel. “And my Sword Catcher is right. You see he is not just my guardian, but my conscience. I do owe you an apology.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Then make it,” she said. “And I will tell you if it satisfies me.”
“I know you were told even before you came here that I was weak. Someone who cared nothing for his city, who counted pleasure above responsibility. And those were not just scurrilous rumors. Those were the truth. But it is also the truth that I have changed. And change, I have learned, is not one decision, but many decisions made every day. What I did was a mistake, and I can say that in absolute truth. When I did what I did, it was because it was what I wanted at that moment, and I gave no thought to those I was hurting.”
There was a silence. Kel looked out of the corner of his eye at Anjelica. Would she understand, as he did, how unusual it was for Conor to speak this way? To reveal his true thoughts and doubts to anyone?
“Well,” Anjelica said. “That was not, quite precisely, an apology.”
Conor met her eyes. “I am sorry,” he said. “More than I can say.”
Indeed,Kel thought.There is much you are not saying.
Anjelica nodded slowly. “I will forgive you,” she said. “Not this moment—there is something I must do first—but I will forgive you. This time.” She turned to leave; at the door, her hand on the latch, she hesitated. “At the ball, I told someone you had only ever treated me with honor and respect,” she said, and a deep anger that Kel did not precisely comprehend underlined her words. “Do not make a liar out of me.”
The door slammed shut behind her.
Conor looked after her. “I wonder,” he said. “What does she feel she must do?”
“Conor,” Kel said. “Look at me. Who was it? The girl in the folly?”
