Page 39 of Run
“She begged me not to tell you.”
“She what!? Why?” Why the hell wouldn’t she want me to know where she is? Why doesn't she want to hear from me? And how could my best and oldest friend not tell me?
Anger swells in my veins as hurt and betrayal curl in my gut. This whole time Ari has been reachable through Fonz. This whole time! I spent so long crippled with bottled up emotions, wondering where she is, if she’s OK, what she’s doing. And he’s had the answers.
“Fonz, you gotta fill me in. How is she? Is Axel still there?”
His non-answer is answer enough. I swallow the lump in my throat and lean my head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Is he as bad as he used to be?”
Fonz is unmoving. “She doesn’t talk to me the way she used to talk to you, so I’m not sure. I’ve seen bruises and gotten vibes off her, but she hasn’t shown up looking too bad, you know. But I don’t know what she may be hiding.”
Jules’ laughter over at the bar steals my attention momentarily, then I look back at my friend. And it must be a look of hate because I see Fonz’s face fall as I grit my teeth and nearly spit, “You were supposed to be my best friend.”
I go to push out of the booth, but his words stop me.
“No,shewas your best friend, Ethan. And you were hers. And you both did what you had to do to make sure the other got out of that crappy situation.”
“But she didn’t!” I yell, then lower my voice. “How could you let me walk around thinking she disappeared? Or that she was happy and living with a family that took her to fucking Disney World or some shit? Fonz, I gotta talk to her. You have her number? Give it to me.”
He shakes his head.
What.The.Fuck?
“Dude, if you value our friendship even the tiniest bit, you will do this for me.”
“Do you love her?” The question stuns me, and I pull back my head and my breath catches. He just stares at me and asks again. “Do you love her, Ethan?”
“Yeah, of course I do. You know I do. Or, I did … Yeah, I still do. I always will.”
Fonz pulls his lips into his mouth and releases them. “You weren’t the only one who was devastated after everything went down. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was broken. I saw it. I saw her on her runs, crying as she tore down the road. I saw her far-off gazes while she rode in the passenger seat of my car. It was that way for a long time. Hell, sometimes it still is. But she’s getting her feet under her now. She’s working at the pub with Lena, and she has a plan to move in with her friend—someone she met in foster care. They’re going to get a place in the city. She’s trying to pick back up the pieces of her life and if you resurface, I don’t know what it will do to her.”
Jules comes bouncing back over, carrying three pints of beer in a triangle between her two hands. “Sorry that took so long,” she mumbles. “I got to chatting with those guys about an assignment. Anyway, what are we talking about?”
“Nothing,” I say, passing Fonz’s beer down, grabbing my own and downing half of it in one gulp.
My mind is everywhere but here as Jules and Fonz make small talk about music or pop culture, or God knows what. All I can think about is Ari and the life she continues to endure, and how all I ever wanted was to protect her, but I failed.
CHAPTER 13
ARI
“What’s the deal?” Sean mumbles into my neck before pulling a mouthful of skin between his lips and sucking on it. “This is my birthday present to you.”
“My birthday was weeks ago,” I reply as he licks and sucks his way down my neck and lands his mouth at the top of my bra, where the little cleavage I have is sticking out.
We’re lying on my bed, still in the corner of the living room in Axel and Lena’s house. Sean has coaxed my shirt off, and my pants, and I lay beneath him in just my bra and underwear while he is completely naked.
He says he wants to be my first. That he wants to show me he cares about me, and to be able to stop sleeping with other girls so we can be together. I want that, too, but I’m not sure I’m ready.
And I’m not sure that matters to Sean, who has his hand sliding beneath my underwear. “Baby girl, it’s not like I haven’t explored all of you already.” He kisses his way down my sternum to my stomach. He’s right. We’ve done everything else there is to do besides sex. Still, being in this situation, it doesn’t feel the way I think it should.
I can’t help but think back to the time Ethan told me how my first kiss should be. And then how my actual first kiss—with him—was. Full of excitement and butterflies and want, and how I couldn’t erase the smile from my face for days afterward.
This is much different, although I can’t deny the familiar tingling in my traitorous body. How can my hips involuntarily press into Sean’s touch while my head and heart are begging for him to stop?
Kneeling between my legs, Sean attempts to pull my underwear off, but I grab his wrists. “Sean, wait. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Sure you are, Ari.” He kisses the inside of my thigh. “I’ve been getting you ready for this. Hasn’t it all felt good so far?” He kisses my other thigh.
