Page 36 of Run
While I remained still, Sean’s hand cupped my face and his thumb pulled my lower lip down until it flipped back up. He looked at my mouth and tried to pull me closer, but I was rigid. I knew what he wanted, but I was scared. The only person I had ever kissed was Ethan. And he was gentle, and kind, and thoughtful … and I didn’t deserve him. After all, I’d almost ruined his life. A life he was out living to its fullest.
With one hand still around my neck, Sean’s other hand came up to play with the end of my ponytail resting against my chest. I leaned in just the tiniest bit, and he took it as the invitation it was, pulling my face to his until our lips met. It was similar, at first, to the kiss I shared with Ethan. Dry outer lips moving against one another, and then the introduction of heat and wetness as it deepened. But where Ethan’s kiss turned hungry and full of longing, Sean’s went savage. Cupping my face with both hands, he forced his tongue past my lips and invaded my mouth, then pulled my tongue into his with forceful suction. It didn’t hurt, but it was rough. Pulling back just a fraction, Sean pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and tugged, then released it with a little chuckle when I whimpered.
“Yeah, I’m really good with my mouth,” he breathed against my lips, then dove back in, pushing and pulling my lips and tongue with his, and at some point I started reciprocating. It was an intoxicating dance—one I was doing with my mouth and myheart. I couldn’t deny the tingling in my belly and limbs and how powerful it felt knowing I made him crazed with want.
And he did want me. It was clear.
But my heart also cracked right down the middle as I erased Ethan’s kiss from my lips. He was no longer the last—the only—boy I had kissed. I was washing it away with every swipe of my tongue against Sean’s and every brush of his lips to mine.
While warring with myself and my feelings, Sean’s hand trailed down my face to my neck and landed on my breast. He roughly groped it, digging his nails into my bra as he groaned into my mouth and practically straddled the seat to get closer to me.
“Sean, wait.” I put a hand on his chest and pulled my face away, but he just came right back at me. He devoured my mouth and slid his hand to my hip and tried to pull me onto him.
“Sean.” I gave him a lame push, and to his credit, he stopped.
“Sorry,” he murmured against my lips. “Shit. Sorry. It’s just … damn.” He released my face but slid his other hand around to clasp mine in my lap. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
I looked at him quizzically. “You have?”
“You don’t believe me? What’s this tell you?” He gestured to his groin where I saw a bulge then quickly looked away. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He adjusted himself. “I just fucking want you. Sorry. Didn’t mean to pressure you.” Sean leaned over, gave me a peck, and ran his thumb along my lower lip one last time. “Until next time.”
After he exited, I sat there for a while thinking about what had just happened, feeling conflicted. I couldn’t ignore the fact that, if I had been willing, he would have had sex with me right there in my car, in the parking lot, while he was stoned. And that made him an ass. But he was also nice, and wanted me.
And no one ever wants me.
I ended up texting him days later, and our make-out sessions continued before they progressed to “fooling around.” To this day, I still haven’t had sex with him, to which he lets me know that he needs to have sex with other people since I am “leaving him hanging” all the time. And, because I am desperate and need attention—and also a reason to be away from the house and Axel—I allow this screwed up “relationship” with him to continue.
“Earth to Ari!” Fonz’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Oops! Sorry, got stuck on another planet for a minute there.” I shake my head to clear it. “But I really need to go. It’s late, and I still have homework to finish up.”
“Yep, no problem.” Fonz climbs off the bed. “Come around more often, OK? I’d come to you, but that asshat you live with is kinda scary.”
“Yeah, believe me, I know.”
Fonz pulls me into a hug. “You know I love you, right?”
“Uh, yeah, Fonz. I know that.”
“And, you know that I’ll kill Sean if he hurts you or pressures you, or in any other way upsets you, right? I mean, it’s what Ethan would want me to do, and I feel like I have to honor his wishes since he’s going to be serving our country and everything.”
That makes my heart tighten into a teeny tiny knot and then implode. I still love my guys, no matter how near or far. “Yeah, I know.”
He lets go, but before I can leave he slings an arm around my shoulder and pulls out his phone. “Wait, we didn’t take a selfie!”
“Ugh. What’s with you and selfies?”
“I like to document the good times with my friends, is that a crime?” He holds the phone up. “Now smile, you bitch.”
That makes me bark out a laugh at the exact moment he snaps the photo.
CHAPTER 12
ETHAN
“Oh, God. Don’t stop!” Jules shrieks as I rock into her again. I chuckle and grin at the pleasure I’m able to pull out of my girlfriend. Her arms and legs are wrapped around me as our naked bodies grind against each other on her dorm room bed. I nip her neck, then abruptly pull out.
“Noooo,” she protests.
