Page 123 of Run
“You give her all the love you know how to. The kind of love that comes from a man like Ethan, not a man like Axel. Not a little shit like Sean. You show her how wonderful it is to be loved by you, and you hope that one day she will learn to crave that love instead of the other kind. And you have to decide if that’s what’s best for you, too. Because you’re a survivor, too.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “She’s what’s best for me. We’re what’s best for each other. I would do anything for her, Larry. Anything.”
I open my eyes to see him smiling at me. “I know, son. I know.” He gives my cheek a pat and releases me, stepping back to the sink and turning on the faucet. “Just keep loving the shit out of her. It’s working. Even if you can’t see it, everyone else can.”
As Larry continues to load the dishwasher, I get my breathing and my emotions under control. “Can I ask you something now?”
“Anything.”
I grab some dirty utensils off the island and place them on the counter next to Larry. “How come you and Meg never had kids of your own?”
“Meg had uterine cancer as a young adult,” he says without pause. “She had a hysterectomy before we met.”
“Oh, damn.” I empty a glass into the sink and hand it to Larry. “I’m sorry.”
“We’re not.” He takes the glass from me. “We were going to adopt, but when we learned how many older kids need fostering, it just felt like a calling.”
“Isn’t it hard—taking care of kids and then handing them over to someone else, so to speak?”
He thinks it over. “With most of the kids we took in, they found permanent placements, or their family lives improved and they could go back. Or they became adults and went out on their own and lived happy lives.” He pauses as I pass him a cutting board. “But there were two cases that were hard to let go of.”
I stare at him, waiting for more. He nods in the direction of the living room. “So, we never let them go.”
I know he’s talking about Ari and Sophie. Fuck genetics, and fuck the fact that they’re adults, those are his little girls.
It gets me thinking …
“Hey, uh, Larry?”
“Mmhmm?” He places one last dish carefully on the bottom rack of the dishwasher and slides the drawer in.
I clear my throat. “I had no intention of doing this today, but, well, since we just had a brofest I’m kind of feeling vulnerable and shit …”
Larry adds soap to the dishwasher and closes the door, turning to look at me. I clear my throat again and look him in the eye. “I don’t know when—it could be next year, it could be tomorrow, it could be ten years from now considering our track record—butat some point, I’m going to ask Ari to be mine forever. And I’d really like your blessing.”
Larry’s face softens. He waits a beat before answering me. “You promise to keep loving the shit out of her and never ease up?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You promise to be all in, for the long haul?”
“Promise.”
Larry grins. “Promise to do all that while not losing yourself in the process?”
I give a curt, final nod. “Yes.”
He steps forward and slaps me on the arms. “Then yes, son, you have my blessing. Of course you do!”
I let out a breath and extend a hand that Larry takes.
“Alright, enough of this heavy shit.” He lets out a heavy breath. “Let’s go out there and open presents so we can get to dessert, shall we? If you like Meg’s roast beef, just wait until you try the trifle she makes.”
“Oh, man.” I rub my stomach as Larry leads me out of the kitchen with a hand on my shoulder. “I gotta tell you, Larry, you were smart, getting yourself a woman who can cook.”
We get to the edge of the kitchen and look at the three ladies fussing around the tree. Ari spins around, throwing her hands up in cheers. “Time for presents!” A smile stretches across her face.
I saunter up to her with a smile of my own, and with each step, I ache to know the depths of all that ails my dear love.
