Page 164 of Run
“Ethan.”
“Hmm,” is all I can manage, because I can’t find actual words.
“I’m scared.”
I simply open my arms for Ari to walk into and hold her tight.
Then we hear a throat clear and a female voice. “OK, Mom and Dad, are you ready to meet your daughter?”
Ari and I freeze, then both slowly turn to face the sound of the voice. The same dark-skinned nurse we followed down the hallway many hours ago is standing in the open doorway of the room, smiling at us.
“Our … daughter?” Ari wags a finger between me and her.
The woman smiles broadly as another nurse pushes a little crib on wheels out of the room, and inside is a tiny little baby swaddled up tightly in a white blanket, wearing a tiny knit cap. Neither Ari nor I breathe as the nurse pushes the crib closer to us and we peer inside. The baby’s eyes are closed, and her mouth makes a little “O” under a perfect button nose.
Ari looks at me, and then back at the baby. “C— Can I hold her?”
The nurse laughs. “You can do whatever you want. She’s yours. Here.” The nurse dips down and scoops up the little bundle and walks over to Ari, who nervously holds her bent arms in frontof her, and the nurse simply deposits the baby into them. Ari immediately starts to sway and dip her body, moving her arms from side to side.
“Am I doing it right?” She looks to the nurse for help.
“Honey, there’s no wrong way to do it.”
Ari looks down at the baby—our baby—in her arms and very gently pulls back the cap. “She has a bunch of hair!” she whisper-shouts at me, and I nod. “It’s dark!”
I look toward the now-closed door where the baby was born. “Are they …”
“They wish to be alone,” the nurse says. “They’ve said their goodbyes, and they would like for you two to take your daughter home.”
“Here, Ethan, you hold her.” Ari starts to push the baby toward me, but I back up.
“I’m scared. I don’t know how to hold her.”
“It’s like the nurse said. There’s no wrong way.”
“Can I show you?” the nurse interjects.
“Please,” Ari and I say in unison.
The woman approaches and slides one hand between Ari’s arm and the baby’s head, cupping her head and neck in her palm. She slides another hand under the baby’s bottom and takes her from Ari’s arms. Turning toward me, the nurse presses the baby into my chest, and I automatically bend my arms and make a little nest for the nurse to release her.
And then I’m holding our daughter. Looking down at her perfect little face, her reddish skin. “She’s so light.”
“Seven pounds, one ounce,” the nurse says.
“Good lord, I eat burgers bigger than you, kid.”
Ari snorts and the nurse throws her head back and lets out a laugh. The baby makes a little gurgling noise and squirms, and I freeze. “W— What is she doing?” I look up at the nurse, terrified.
The woman smiles at me. “Well, she’s a living thing, so she’s going to make some noise and move around a bit. Don’t worry.” She starts to walk past us, patting my back as she does. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Where is she going?” I ask Ari nervously.
“I think we’re on our own now, big guy.” Ari stands close to me and gently touches the little fingers that peek out from the blanket. Our daughter has the tiniest little fingernails.
And in this moment I understand exactly what Bonnie meant when she said Baby Ari brought her peace. What was the word she used?
Majestic.
