Page 160 of Run
I giggle. “A horse?”
“For the record, I told her not to name you after an animal,” Shirley chimes in with an eye roll.
Bonnie removes her hands from my face and instead takes my hands in hers. “She was my favorite horse at the center. George used to take me out to groom her when I was having a bad day, and she brought me peace. He said she was a majestic animal. When I saw you, I felt the same way. You brought me peace, even just that one time I saw you, and you were beautiful. Majestic.”
If I had any more tears to cry, they would come out. But I think they have finally run dry.
“Arlene—the horse—I mean,” Bonnie giggles before she continues, “had to go to another center, but there are other horses there. Would you like to see them someday? Maybe they will bring you peace, too.”
I nod vigorously. “Yes, of course.”
“Would you come, too, Ethan?” Bonnie looks up at him.
His eyes shift from mine to hers. “I go wherever Ari goes.”
Bonnie giggles some more, and Ethan squeezes my shoulder. I look up and lock eyes with him, giving a small nod. I know exactly what he’s thinking: her giggle is just like mine.
No,mygiggle is just likehers.
“Well,” Shirley begins as she stands. “Bonnie and I were going to cut into an apple pie we made this morning. Won’t you join us?”
“Oooo, you have to try it!” Bonnie stands as well. She still has a hold of my hands. “Our apple pie always comes out so good.”
I look up at Ethan. “We have time, right?”
“Are you kidding?” He rubs his stomach. “Even if we didn’t, we would make time for pie.”
***
We leave Shirley and Bonnie with hugs and kisses and the exchanging of telephone numbers and emails and social media handles, and the promise of daily phone calls and another visit soon, before Ethan and I are walking down the front steps, hand-in-hand.
I can feel my legs shaking with each step, and as we get to the sidewalk, Ethan turns and looks at me. “Ari, you’re trembling.”
“I know.” I pull my hand out of his and ball both of them into fists in front of me, then shake them out. “I’ve just … Gah! I’ve got all this energy!” I bring a hand up to my forehead and place the other on my hip. “Can you believe she … And then they …” A laugh breaks out of me. “I don’t know … I can’t—”
“Go.” Ethan gives me a grin, and I tip my head at him, eyebrows pinched in question. He nods toward the sidewalk. “Go. Run.” I look up and follow the sidewalk with my eyes. “Think. Process. Get your blood pumping and get that energy out. It’s a lot, I know. And you’re strong enough now. But just promise me one thing?”
I turn and look at him.
“Promise me you’ll no longer be running from anything, but toward it.”
I dart forward and grab Ethan’s face, pulling it down to kiss it hard, and then just as abruptly I pull away, turn, and start to run.
Ethan chuckles behind me. “I’ll follow in the Jeep.”
I take off down the sidewalk, thankful to be wearing sneakers instead of flip-flops, and feel wisps of hair blow against my face and neck as I go. I pump my arms and legs as I pick up speed.
I was born out of love.
I pass a big Victorian house in a dramatic navy blue color with an intricate wraparound porch, and then a few smaller, quaint houses with porch swings and window planters.
I brought my mom peace every time she thought of me.
A vehicle slows alongside me, and I turn to see Ethan’s Jeep and hear him catcall out to me before he picks up speed and drives off into the distance.
I have a mother and a grandmother, and they want me.
I suck air into my lungs and enjoy the burn. My heart is racing in my chest, and it’s a welcome feeling—the blood pumping through my veins.
