Page 137 of Run
I shake my own head as we sit on the cold tile in the dark kitchen, several feet between us that may as well be miles. I watch as Ethan’s sobs intensify and his chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. His head falls onto his forearms resting on his knees as he curls over and gives into it.
Fonz rushes over and slides himself down beside his best friend, placing a hand on the back of Ethan’s neck, as tears fall down his own face as well.
Unable to take the distance any longer, I slowly get to my hands and knees and crawl toward them, my skin stinging as I make my way over broken glass. “Ethan,” I say through my tears when I finally get to them. “Look at me.”
He just shakes his head in his hands. “Hey.” I place my hand over his, sliding my slim fingers through his thick ones, and he grips them between his trembling knuckles. With a steadying breath, my voice gets stronger. “Ethan, look at me.”
His red, swollen eyes peek up over his forearm.
“You were the only reason I could face every day.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I should have … Shit …” There are so many things I want to say, and I can’t seem to get my bearings to articulate them correctly. To make him see. I wish I could go back to that little girl and tell him.
And then it hits me. I can.
Quickly, I scramble up off the floor and run into the bedroom. I find my leggings on the floor and pull them on, hopping up and down to get them all the way up. I sit on the edge of the bed and thrust my feet into my sneakers, then I grab a hoodie out of Ethan’s closet and am zipping it up as I run back into the kitchen. Passing the guys on the floor, I pluck my keys off the counter before turning around and taking the few steps back to Ethan and Fonz, squatting down in front of them.
I place my hand on Ethan’s forearm, next to where his head is resting, and he snaps it up to look at me. “I’ll be back soon,” I say.
Ethan’s bloodshot, glassy eyes dart between mine as he asks, softly, “You running, Red?”
“No.” I cup his face in my hand. “I have to go back to my apartment—my old apartment—to get something that I need to show you. I need you to wait right here for me until I get back, OK? I should only be thirty minutes, tops.” He doesn’t say anything. He just leans into my palm and closes his eyes.
I look over to Fonz. “Stay with him?” I ask, and he nods. “I’ll be right back. I promise. Stay right here—I’m coming right back.”
I turn and run out the door and to my car. It’s not until I’m peeling out of the driveway that I realize I ran back and forth through the house, and then to my car. And I ran away from Axel yesterday.
I haven’t run since the accident.
I speed to the Millers’ at a rate that would surely send me to jail and leave the car running as I punch the garage code into the little keypad and wait for the door to rise, dipping down to go under before it’s even all the way up.
When I swing the door open, I rush over to the dresser and find the shoebox full of letters right where I left them. I grab it, work the lid out from underneath, secure it on top, and rush right back out.
CHAPTER 44
ARI
Iburst through the door to Ethan’s house and head right over to where I left the guys to find them still sitting on the floor, side-by-side, backs against the wall. Fonz looks at me as I approach but Ethan is unmoving.
“Hey,” I croak out, sinking to the floor on the other side of Ethan. I place the box beside me and remove the lid, running my hand over the tops of the envelopes that are tightly wedged inside. “I have some things for you to read.”
Ethan lifts his head and looks at me, his face swollen from crying so hard. He wipes the back of his hand under his nose and sniffs.
Fonz shuffles around on his other side and gets up. “I’m going to leave you two alone.”
I pass up the first dozen envelopes and pull one out, also halfway pulling out the one behind it to mark its place. I scan the letter, but it doesn’t have what I’m looking for, so I file that one away again and skip a few more envelopes, pulling out another.
“Aha! Here.” I hold open the letter in front of Ethan as it tries to fold back in on itself at the creases. “Read this.”
Ethan wipes his eyes and takes the paper but quickly shakes his head. “Ari, I can’t. My eyes are jacked right now.”
I take the paper from him, kick my legs out in front of me, smooth it on my lap, and start to read:
Dear Momma,
Today started out really bad. Papa got mad at me for spilling pop on the couch and started hitting me again. He wouldn’t stop. He had a lot of beers. When he stumbled I ran away. I ran outside and hid under his old car, where I was just going to wait until he gave up looking for me and went inside to fall asleep.
But he almost found me. He heard me, and I was so scared he was going to drag me out from under the car and start hitting me again.
Then I heard a voice I had never heard before. It was a boy’s voice, and I thought he was going to tell Papa where I was. But he didn’t. He helped me get away from Papa.
