Page 80 of Demo
I swallowed at the same time I saw Knox’s Adam’s apple bob.
“Hey, girl! It’s so great to see you!” Jenny cheered, pulling her hand from Knox’s and pulling me in for a hug. She then turned her attention to Dylan and stuck her hand out. “I’m Jenny. Knox’s colleague.”
“Hey,” Dylan said, pulling his hands off my hips to greet Jenny.
Knox and I were in a staring contest. Jenny scooted past me to stand next to Dylan, pulling him into conversation, leaving me and Knox to fend for ourselves.
“Surprised to see you here,” I shouted. I was too afraid to get any closer to him. It would hurt too much. And by the look in his eyes, I could tell he was hurting, too.
Knox was in a Mitchell & Sons T-shirt and a pair of dirty jeans, which tells me Jenny forced him out after a day of work. His hair was a little shaggier. And his eyes were bloodshot, glazed, and had dark shadows beneath them.
“You’re with him?” he asked, eyes on me, nodding in Dylan’s direction.
“No, Knox,” I shook my head. “We came with Leanne and Kirk. They’re around here somewhere.” He nodded and ran a hand through his hair.
“I called. Texted. Came over.” His eyes were still glued to me, like he was trying to commit me to memory.
“I know. But I couldn’t, I can’t ...” I finally looked away from him and over to where Dylan and Jenny were chatting, her eyes on us.
“I should walk away now,” I heard Knox, and turned to look at him again. “I need to walk away. But all I can think is that the last time I saw you I didn’t know it was going to be the last, and I didn’t get a chance to take it all in, you know? So now, I feel like I need to just absorb this for a second, but, fuck, it still hurts.”
“Knox.” It was a plea.
He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Bye, Lizzie,” he said, then shoved his way past the crowd and out through the doorway. A moment later, Jenny followed, giving me a sympathetic look.
As Dylan came back toward me, he was scratching the back of his neck. “That was … intense.”
I cleared my throat to keep the tears at bay. “Let’s go find Leanne and Kirk, OK?” I asked as I left the room.
Suddenly sober, I found my sister and her boyfriend and put my blinders on in case I saw Knox again, but I knew he left. I didn’t feel him anymore.
***
I was unprepared when I got the call from Jenny later that night, asking that I help her find Knox, who was drunk, high and being reckless.
But there I was, pushing my way through the throngs of sweaty people swaying and moshing to the sounds of hardcore music coming from some mediocre cover band from the sunken stage at the front of a dingy club near Charlotte Beach. The music was way too loud, thumping in my eardrums and pulsing through my veins, making my heart beat erratically. It was dark, with strobe lights shooting here and there. And there was a thickness to the air from the hot bodies and breathing and sweating.
It was suffocating.
Jenny had called me hours after they ran out of the party, saying Knox went on a bender and he somehow ditched her, and she couldn’t find him. I debated whether me seeking him out would make matters better or worse, but in the end, I couldn’t just sit around knowing he was in bad shape—and possibly a bad situation.
After circling the entire club, I saw a couple come in from a side door that appeared to exit into an alley. I pushed that door open and stepped out into the air, which was shockingly cold compared to the inside. Quickly, I found the arm holes of the hoodie I was carrying and pulled it over my head.
Across the parking lot was the pier that went out into the lake, and from this distance, it looked like there were a few black figures—people—walking or standing on it. I waited for a car to pass on the street before crossing it, then slowly jogged across the parking lot past the carousel that hadn’t been operational for quite some time, and toward the pier.
I could hear the waves slamming against the side of the concrete slabs that made up the pier as I took hurried steps. The sound was amplified in my brain as I wondered where the hell Knox could be, and what state he was in. I panned the shore before my eyes settled on the old carousel and the hairs on the back of my neck raised.
The wooden structure was boarded up, but all I had to do was move a piece of plywood to make my way inside. It was dark, but there were splinters of light coming from the lights in the parking lot that gave off enough of a glow to make my way. To the side was the old pipe organ, and in front of me was the circle of colorful, wooden horses and bench seats that once made up the historic ride.
I stepped up onto the circular platform, hearing grit crunch under my shoes as I did. I slid my hand along a brown horse with fuchsia and teal reins, feeling the soot collect on my skin. Then I walked right into a cobweb, and quickly twisted and swatted my hands around me to pull the sticky strings away.
I heard a groan and shot my head up, wondering if I imagined it, then pushed forward, between horses and around a covered bench seat. I heard shuffling and another moan. “Knox?” I called out.
Another groan came from behind me. I turned and saw him, slumped in the bench seat I just passed.
“Knox!” I gasped and ran to him.
He was half-sitting, half-laying in the seat, so I wrapped my arms around his torso and pulled him into an upright seated position, watching his head roll this way and that. “What the hell did you do, Knox? What did you take?” I asked as I cupped his face with one hand, an arm still secured around his middle.
