Page 153 of Demo
“I said,” and I rear the hammer up over my head, “maybe it should kill me.” And with a heave I swing out at a row of boards separating the dining area from the living room. But they don’t budge, so I pull my arms back again, and behind the blood pumping through my ears I hear Bram’s voice again.
“Knox, that’s a load-bearing wall!” but I’m already swinging, and the hammer slices through the first and second boards, sending them askew, like a bowling ball knocking out pins, and then I see a joist come swinging down right at my—
Chapter 43
Ten months later …
LYZBETH
“Yousureyoudon’tmind me staying with you for a bit?”
Dee looks at me like I’m an asshole. “Lizzie, if you ask me that one more time, I’m gonna bitchslap you.”
“OK, OK!” I shrug my shoulders as I pass her in the kitchen and place a box on the island. Sighing, I look around the empty apartment and just shake my head some more.
This is the last haul from the apartment Knox and I shared. Where we built our lives for several years before it all went to shit. After he signed the divorce papers and went all Hulk on the house—our house—we went our separate ways, which I guess was the whole point.
After a few weeks, out of the blue, I got a text from Knox asking if he could stop by and see Kennedy. Just seeingCaptain Banana Hammocklight up my phone practically stopped my beating heart, and then when I saw what he wanted, I was equal parts disappointed and humored.
Of course, he missed the damned dog. The huge, messy, shedding, barking dog he brought home without my permission and just left me with.
And who I wasn’t giving back. Aside from Dee—well, and Monty—Kennedy is my best friend. During the months before I headed south for winter, he consoled me when I cried, comforted me when I was angry, missed me when I was gone all day and showed me affection when we were bored. He ate dinner with me, watched my favorite TV shows with me, went for walks with me and, yes, he even slept in the bed with me.
But I’m not a total monster. I immediately texted Knox back and told him to swing by that night to pick up Kennedy for the weekend, as long as his dad didn’t mind having the dog at his house. He texted right back that he would be over after work, to which I told him to use his key, and I made sure I wasn’t around. I also made sure I wasn’t around when he dropped Kennedy back off at the apartment a few days later.
I just couldn’t stomach seeing Knox. And I figured he didn’t want to see me, either.
It ended up being about every other weekend that Knox would pick up Kennedy. We joked over text that it was “joint custody.” Eventually our texts became friendlier, leading to longer conversations, and one day I was brave enough to be home when he came to pick up the dog. It was a Friday night in the spring, several weeks after we had last seen each other. I hadJeopardyon the TV while I sat on the couch and tried to act like seeing him would be no big deal. Like my heart wasn’t beating out of my chest.
Knox must have been surprised when he saw my car in the lot when he arrived, because he gave a soft knock on the door, and when I called for him to come in, it took him a minute to enter. He cracked the door open and looked in, pausing for just a minute before he entered.
“Hi,” he said shyly.
“Hi,” I replied, looking over the back of the couch.
At the sound of the door closing, Kennedy bounced up off the couch where he had been snuggling me and ran to Knox, who fell to his knees to greet him, cradling his head in both hands and aggressively scratching behind his ears. “Hey, buddy. Man, I’ve missed you.” A beat passed, and then he said again, “I’ve missed you like crazy.” When I looked back over at Knox, he was looking straight at me.
We both swallowed at exactly the same time. Knox slowly stood and put his hands in his pockets. “You look great, Lizzie.”
I’m sure I blushed. I was just wearing comfy leggings and a Bon Jovi T-shirt, but since I knew I would be seeing Knox, of course, I had freshly brushed hair and recently applied makeup.
We stared at each other in comfortable silence as the air crackled around us, and I cursed the day I learned how good it felt to be loved by him. Because, truth was, I had let go of my anger. I let go of it before he walked out of his dad’s house that terrible day he signed the divorce papers. And since the anger was gone, I was left with a space that was just aching to be filled with something else.
Something happy.
The sound of a car horn snapped us out of our trance and Knox cursed. “Shit! Sorry, I, uh …” he hooked a finger over his shoulder toward the window.
“Oh,” I jumped up from the couch. “Someone is waiting for you, in the truck. Of course! Well—”
“No, Liz—”
“Kennedy’s leash is right by the door, and—”
“Lizzie.”
“He’s got this new squeaky toy thing that’s like half-alligator, half-dinosaur that’s around here somewhere …”
“Lizzie.” I gave it a minute before I braved a look up at Knox. “It’s just Gino in the truck. I’m giving him a ride home from work. I thought you wouldn’t be home, like usual, so I didn’t drop him off first.”
