Page 124 of Demo
“I- I don’t know. Not long.”
“What happened after?”
“Neither of us said anything. We straightened our clothes, walked in silence back to the club. As we got closer, I started to lose my breath. I turned around, leaned against the side of the building. I was panicking. Jenny said to forget it. Forget it ever happened. It was a mistake, it was wrong. I couldn’t look at her. Didn’t know how I was going to look at you. Then when we walked in, and I saw you in the grips of some guy it was like the universe was already getting back at me. Punching me right in the gut.
“After that situation calmed down, I put aside what had happened. I just wanted to get out of there, with you. Just us.”
“It was the wrapper.” I interrupted his thoughts with one of my own.
“What?”
“The condom wrapper. It fell out of your wallet at the table. That’s what fell to the floor.”
Silence, then, “Yeah, I guess it was.”
“How could you even take me home in the truck after that? Did you even realize the condom was left behind?” My thoughts were coming all at once, and although many were questions, I wasn’t giving him time to answer them. “Is that why you didn’t kiss me? At the truck? But then why did you kiss me all night long?”
“Lizzie,” Knox sounded desperate. “I wanted to tell you. I wanted to forget it ever happened. I wanted to drop you off at home and drive myself right off a fucking bridge.” His tone changed then. “And I knew it was the worst mistake I would ever make in my entire existence. And I wanted to never touch you again because I will never again be worthy of doing so, and at the same time I wanted nothing more than to touch you and mold myself to you.”
The tears continued rolling down my cheeks. “Bullshit,” I said softly. “You got to fuck Barbie and then when it was just us, you almost couldn’t even finish.”
“No, Lizzie. That’s not—”
“God, I had to practically jump you to get you to come.”
“No—”
“Were you thinking of her? Is that how you were able to finish?”
A choking sound came from his side of the door, then a strangled, “No! God no!”
We were both crying as the minutes passed, before I broke the silence. “You seemed so happy this morning.”
“I was. The happiest I’ve been in a long time.”
“Why? Because you finally sealed the deal with Jenny? Scratched that itch?” There, I finally said her name.
After a ragged breath, Knox replied, “Because after last night, afteryouandme, I decided I was never going to tell you. I would make it a point to interact with Jenny as little as possible. I would not allow your heart to be broken. And you and I were going to be OK. We were going to be great. And I knew you were going to bring me back from the dead because only you can. And I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
I laughed through my tears. “Yeah, well, I guess that plan didn’t work out.”
I slid myself up along the door until I was standing, and I could hear him follow suit.
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I said as I walked further into the apartment and headed toward the bathroom, where I promptly threw up.
Chapter 35
KNOX
“Holyshit!”Lizziegaspsas we step outside the automatic doors across from the main parking lot at the hospital. The snowfall has gotten significantly heavier even since Bram and I got to the hospital, so I can only imagine it’s a lot worse than when she and Emily got here.
“There were barely any flakes when we were on the road,” she says. “I know Bram said there was a pileup on the highway, but it didn’t really register.”
The fat, thick, wet flakes are sticking to our hair and clothes. It would be beautiful if we didn’t have a hell of a ride home before us. There’s a good three inches on the parked cars.
“Come on,” I say as I start in the direction of where I parked the truck.
“Oh, I parked this way,” Lizzie points in the other direction.
