Page 95 of Reign of the Talon
Swallowing nervously, I nod.
And somehow, this permission—for him to wander around my mind, to see every single broken part of me—is more intimate than our lovemaking. More intimate than anything else could ever be.
Silver eyes soft, Rui takes my hand, and together we ascend the staircase. He supports me as my limp appears, the pain in my left leg summoned by the long climb as it always is. And I am grateful to have him here, with me. It is as if the stairs, somehow, are pleased as well. We do not climb for as long as I had expected before we emerge on the next level. If Yego follows, I do not hear it.
As we emerge from the stairwell, I stumble backward, hitting Rui’s chest, legs nearly giving out beneath me.
“Lina,” Eunbi says slowly, hesitantly, from where she’s sitting at the edge of the lazuline Gyeulcheon pond, where morning light from the dozens of moons above reflects off the water and dapples the surrounding hill lands in a warm, glittering glow. She stands, dusting off her pale yellow hanbok and regarding me with wide brown eyes. There are cherry blossoms woven into her hair.
She makes no move to embrace me.
Eunbi.Eunbi. My baby sister. Gods, my knees threaten to give way. I press a fist to my mouth, press back the sobs as Rui hesitates at my back. Eunbi looks at him and waves hesitantly. “Hello, Rui,” she adds softly.
“Eunbi.” Rui’s voice is thick. “Is this…” No doubt he is wondering what I puzzled over with Chara and Chryse. Is thisreal?
Yet I know, just as I knew then, that somehow…itis. My mind has brought her here, stretching into Jeoseung, extending a desperate invitation. Just as somehow my mind brought me to the underworld, where I watched her spin underneath the flowers of the cherry blossom tree.
And for whatever reason, Eunbi has accepted that invitation to come here. Has entered my mindscape, where she now stands in my memory of Gyeulcheon, looking at me with an inscrutable expression.
I do not realize that I have begun to hyperventilate until Rui gently squeezes my shoulder. “Lina,” he murmurs, “breathe, little thief, bre—”
But then he is torn apart from me, and I whirl around to see the dark, golden-etched door hovering in midair slamming closed before vanishing altogether…leaving me alone with Eunbi. The Prophecy has awoken him, and he is…
He is gone, leaving me alone with my little sister, whom I am more frightened of than any Dalgyal Gwisin, or any beast in a barley field. One richly deserved word from her could rip me into two. It could slice me straight down the middle, could shut me back into that cold, dark place where all I wanted was to remain in that cell. Does she know? How terribly she can wound me, if only she wishes to?
Face still turned away from my sister, I press my lips together hard, willing myself not to cry.
I am not the one who died at eight years old.
I am not the one who suffered in that palace underneath the scarlet moon.
This is not my tragedy.This is not about me.
When I have finally composed myself enough, I turn around. Eunbi is still regarding me quietly.
My hands flutter uselessly at my sides. Eunbi does not speak the Quiet Language.
I open my mouth to say her name. I try to speak. I do.
But I can’t.
“Lina,” she says, and I note she’s not calling me Lili, she’s calling me Lina, and the last time I heard her call me Lili…
C R A C K.
Eunbi settles down again on the shore of the pond. She doesn’t extend an invitation, but I hesitantly take a seat some feet away from her anyway, sitting down on the rich green grass. I need to speak. I need to use my voice. I try to drag it up into my throat, try to form words on my tongue, in my mouth. Eunbi watches, face shuttered, but a small hint of sadness slipping out.
“The others told me,” she says quietly. “I know you can’t talk. I don’t really understand why, but Sang said it’s because you’re traum…trauma…traumatized.” Eunbi sounds the word out carefully. “They say you might talk again one day, but that I shouldn’t push you too far.”
I’m still trying. Opening and closing my mouth like a fish. There’s so much I need to say to her. But I can’t… Each time I attempt to summon my voice, a feeling of acute terror overcomes me, and my stomach churns as if I am about to be sick.
Frustrated, I dig my nails into the palms of my hands and hate myself so utterly that the afterglow of my time with Rui, the courage and determination from the past two levels, slips away and leaves only a crushing sense of disgust.
My sister is here, she’shere, and yet I can’t eventalkto her.
What kind of a coward am I?
“Lina,” Eunbi says, alarmed, staring at my hands. Too late, I realized I’ve drawn blood. “Don’t do that, Lina,please!” She rushes over, grabs my hands in hers, and I marvel at their childish smoothness, the soft palms and uncalloused fingers. “It’s all right that you can’t talk,” she says, holding my hands tightly. “But it’s not all right if you hurt yourself because of it!” Her lower lip trembles, and I inhale shakily.
