Page 67 of Last Breath

“They left me,” she says quieter, her fight dying as her life is nearing its end. “They left me. Can’t you see it’s not worth living?” Her body is giving in. “Elle will never know them. I’ll never know her…” Until slowly her voice trails off and her head lolls to the side.

I feel for her pulse but I can’t seem to find it. “Shit! Where’s that medic!” I shout again.

“Let me see her, sir.” The lieutenant grimaces as she sticks her head in. Reaching us and checking for a pulse, same as I did, she instructs me, “Lay her down and raise her arms.”

Doing as asked, I watch as Miranda tries to save the woman. Performing chest compressions, she attempts to get her breathing again. For what feels like hours, she continues until eventually, she has to stop. Resting back on her haunches, with her hands covered in blood, she sighs. “I’m sorry. She’s gone.”

What an awful end to the day. “Fuck,” I mumble under my breath. “Thank you, Miranda,” I say, rising off the floor.

I’ve always hated the sight of death. I’ve always hated the loss of someone so young. They’re all misguided souls.

I hate this.

Walking from the room, I lean on the railing. “What a loss. What a terrible loss.”

“Sir.”

Slumping slightly, I expect another piece of bad news. “Yes?” Placing my mask of indifference back on, I turn around to the lieutenant.

“The coroner will be here soon. Would you like the room closed up?”

“Yes, please do. I’ll wait for the forensics team.” I turn back to Miranda as she’s walking away. “You did a great job today. I’ll stick around until they show. You can head on out now.”

“Sounds good. Make sure you head out soon too, Captain. It’s been a long day.”

Ain’t that the truth of it.

Death is one of those things that pokes at your soul and chips away at it one tiny piece at a time. After twenty years on the force, not much has surprised me, until today. The young men at the doorway embracing their deaths together. The sweet girl that took her life and talked as if they’d left her, not as if they’d held her against her will. None of it makes any sense.

After a short while the sun sets, the coyotes start their singing, and this end of the hotel becomes a ghost town.

I’m alone to deal with the weight of it.

I know my family will be wondering where I am, as I was on the way home when the call came in. Pulling out my phone and texting my wife, I tell her that I intend to be a bit later than expected and not to wait up.

Of course she tells me the spaghetti is in the microwave waiting to be reheated, and the garlic bread will need a minute in the oven. The rock in my life, the woman who holds me together. Without her, the tiny shards of my soul would’ve been dust in the Arizona wind by now.

Looking at the two young men again, I see the softness in their touch. They loved each other. And from her comments, she loved them too.

I wonder.

Did they havejoyin their lives?

We all deserve a little, even for only a moment.