Page 135 of Business Casual
“I probably would have tried to kiss you.”
“That wouldn’t have been talking, would it?” He smiles, slow and quiet. A fraction of his usual grin. “But, yeah, I would have let you,” he says quietly. “I would have kissed you back.”
I smile and keep going. “And then after I kissed you, I would have told you how much I’ve missed you. That I thought it would be easy, but it hasn’t been easy at all.” I blow out a deep breath and make sure to keep my eyes on his. “I’ve always wanted to be independent. I thought being strong meant I had to be alone, that I could only have one thing at a time, but then I fell for you without even trying and…I think you might be my very best friend, Charlie. It’s nothing like I thought.”
“What is?”
“Falling in love,” I tell him, a tremble in my voice. “Being in love with you. I was going to tell you all of that and then ask you to come home with me. That was my plan.”
He stares at me for a long time. So long, I begin to get nervous that I’ve said the wrong thing. But his shy smile slowly creeps into a grin, his eyes shining bright in the glow of the city beyond the window.
“For snacks?” he asks, his voice rough.
I laugh and tip my forehead against his chest. He cups the back of my head and tucks a kiss against my crown, then lets his hand slip to my neck with a gentle squeeze.
“Can I tell you my plan now?” he asks.
I laugh into his shirt, weightless. Once upon a time I thought arelationship meant having shackles on my wrists, binding me to the needs of another person. I thought I’d have to sacrifice the things I’ve wanted most to be half of a whole. But now I know it just means I’ve got a safety net. Someone to lift me up and hold me steady. Someone to nag me about the spare key under my potted plant and someone to cut my grapes into tiny hearts.
A partner.
A friend.
“I was coming to you,” he says. “I was standing in that library thinking of you and how much I miss you. How fucking stupid I was for not telling you the truth before I left.” He leans back and brushes a kiss across my forehead. He holds himself there, just breathing, and I slip my hands beneath his jacket to press tight to his ribs, feeling every deep inhale and exhale. “I’ve taught myself how to be okay with fragments of feeling, but I don’t want that with you. I want more than what you’ve given me. I want to give you more of me too. I love you, Nova girl. I tried my very best not to, but you wiggled your way right in there with no respect for my opinion on the matter.”
“That sounds about right.”
He hums and I feel the curve of his smile. A half-moon against my forehead. “There’s plenty to figure out, but I know I don’t want to be anywhere you aren’t. I’m tired of letting myself be happy in increments. I want to feel all of it, and I want to feel all of it with you.”
I loop my arms around his waist and squeeze. “So, what do you think?” My voice is thick and my nose is burning and there’s a pressure behind my eyes, but I can’t stop smiling. “Do you want to come home with me?”
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I really do.”
We decide todrive back to Inglewild together, Charlie in the driver’s seat of my truck with his hand on my thigh. We drive until the city isa pinprick of light in the rearview mirror and the interstate rolls out in front of us, streetlights guiding us home.
He tosses me a bag of gummy bears, and I kick off my shoes, slipping my bare feet under me on the leather seat, the skirt of my silver dress pooled around my knees and Charlie’s jacket around my shoulders. We slip in and out of conversation as Charlie debates the best flavor of gummy bear and wonders after the history of interstate rest stops, and I close my eyes and listen to the rhythm of his voice. The rush of the wind at the windows and the low sound of the radio. It’s nothing special and everything wonderful at exactly the same time. Charlie and his thumb tracking back and forth over the top of my knee. Tip-tapping up until he can trace over the bottom of edge of my crescent moon. My hand finds his and he squeezes, my thumb tracing over his flower on the inside of his wrist.
By the time we make it back, the streets are quiet and dark. The pumpkin sculpture looms tall and proud in the fountain in the middle of the town.
“Still there, huh?” Charlie muses.
“I have no idea what they used on that thing.”
Charlie turns the wheel with a yawn, and I echo it with one of mine.
“Sleep?” I ask, stretching my legs with a groan.
“Sure.” Charlie stares at my exposed thigh with interest, a heated, heavy look in those blue eyes. “Right after I fuck you on that cute little table in your entryway.”
I blink at him, a flip low in my belly. “My table?”
“Mm-hmm, I’ve been thinking about it.”
Now I’m thinking about it too. The way he gets when hewants. Rough hands and biting kisses. His teeth against my shoulder. My name panted in syllables against the hollow of my throat. Clothes still half on, my legs looped high around his waist.
He turns onto my street. “I haven’t seen you in three weeks, Nova. You really think I’m going to take you to bed and go to sleep?”
I blink some more and shift my legs against my seat. Charlie notices and chuckles, a low, rumbling sound from somewhere deep in his chest. I want to feel that sound with my body pressed to his. I want to feel it between my legs.
