Page 47 of Neighbors With Benefits

“Fertilizer can be used to make bombs. Sorry, it was a bad joke.” He picked up his phone and held the microphone close to his face. “If anyone from the FBI or NSA is listening, I was onlymaking a joke. Please don’t knock down my door tonight—I’m too weak to be interrogated.”

“It would be my door they knock down—I’m the one you’re accusing of being a terrorist!”

He raised his voice while speaking into the microphone. “Definitely not a terrorist! No terrorists in either of these houses! Just two friends playing Candyland!”

“Two adults playing Candyland is probably even more suspicious,” I pointed out.

“Two neighbors drinking and flirting! Like normal!” he said a little more panicked.

The two of us laughed together.

Were we flirting? It seemed like it, but I was a bad judge of that kind of thing.

“Our other roommate would love to have a greenhouse,” Bash said while drawing another card. “He’s the plant guy in our house.”

“He’s been gone a while. He hasn’t been home since I moved in, right?”

Bash nodded. “He’s been on a long acquisition trip. Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, and Wisconsin. He should get home next week. I sayshould, because his schedule is a lot more chaotic than ours. Sometimes one acquisition leads to another, and his trips get extended.”

My phone buzzed with another text. When I saw the message, I grabbed it off the table before Bash could read it.

“One moment please,” I said while tapping my phone.

“No problem, I’ll grab another beer,” he said.

Cat: Seriously, Bash is even hotter than Aiden.

Me: That’s debatable.

Cat: Don’t you dare try to argue he’s not a tall, blond snack.

Me: A snack and a half, yes. He’s absolutely attractive. But I think I like Aiden more.

Cat: I don’t think you can make an accurate assessment until you’ve slept with Bash. Before that you’re just comparing sexy apples to swoony oranges.

Me: Shut up! I already have one neighbor I’m sleeping with! I don’t intend to make it two!

Cat: AH HAH! SO YOU ADMIT YOU’RE EXCLUSIVE WITH AIDEN! YOU CAN TELL I’M SHOUTING BECAUSE I’M USING CAPS LOCK!

Me: Oh my God. Just drop it already.

Cat: I’ll drop it if you drop to your knees and show Bash some REAL hospitality.

Me: That was a bad segue.

Cat: Yeah, that one wasn’t my best. But in case you didn’t get my euphemism: you should give him a blowjob.

Me: I got that, yes.

Cat: As in, put his penis in your mouth.

Me: Thanks for womansplaining oral sex to me.

Cat: Then suck on it until he experiences an orgasm, preferably in your mouth.

Me: YES I GET IT. YOU CAN TELL I’M SHOUTING BECAUSE I’M TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

“Who are you texting?” Bash asked. “You’re not talking about me, are you?”