Page 57 of Chaos at Prescott High (The Havoc Boys 2)
“You mean, not emotionally like Vic or Hael?” Aaron asks, his voice acidic. I chuckle, but I still won't look at him. Trapped in this car with Aaron, with all our baggage spilled around us in a gigantic mess, I feel like that girl who shook as she stripped her clothes off for the first time, who was afraid to take the plunge into sex, but who did it anyway because she was so in love. Aaron never pushed me, but I wanted to be as close to him as I possibly could. I got there, and then I was punished for it. When he pushed me aside, it hurt twice as bad as it could've if we'd never slept together.
“I wouldn't call Hael an emotional outlet,” I say with a smile. Then again, knowing he's out with Brittany right now fills me with an impossible fury. But I've got enough going on that I don't need to dig into that. “Vic …” What the hell do I say about Vic? Even I don't fully understand what he means to me, what he does to me. “Dude, you need to tell me what the hell is going on between you and Vic. I can taste your loathing like ash on my tongue.” I make a clicking noise and a dramatic exploding gesture with my fingers.
“It's complicated,” Aaron says, getting in line with all the soccer moms and stay-at-home dads to pick up his sisters. He even does it the right way while several parents struggle with the parking arrangement and end up driving the wrong way around the traffic circle, fucking up the flow of parent pickup time. Aaron kills the engine and sits back to wait for his sister and cousin. “I owe Victor everything, but at the same time, he took everything I had. So, I guess we're just even and floating in limbo.”
“By take everything …” I start as Aaron turns away, staring out the window at passing traffic. It gets crazy over here at this time of day. By evening, it's one of the quietest, most pleasant streets in town. If I had the choice, I would send Heather to this school, instead of the one on the opposite end of town.
“I mean you,” Aaron says, turning back to me with a deep frown etched onto his face. “He took you from me, in exchange for helping me with my sisters, that's what.” I just stare at Aaron, willing him to keep going, to shatter a mystery I've pondered over for years. “I called Havoc before there even was a Havoc,” he tells me, his tone acerbic and biting. “Part of my price for joining them was to give you up.”
“See, that's the part I don't understand,” I snap, sitting up, already shaking with the rush of emotion. I need to approach this conversation in a different way than I have before, because that's never gotten me anywhere. But I need to understand this. If I don't, I'm afraid I'll always be stuck in this rut, running over the same problems again and again. To truly and utterly become a part of Havoc, I need Aaron to be honest with me. “Why would they care if you were dating me or not?”
Aaron turns to look at me, narrowing his eyes like he thinks I'm playing dumb here or something.
“Are you kidding me?” he asks, his voice dry and bitter. “Vic is goddamn obsessed with you.” I shiver and lick my lips, but I don't say anything. I can't let Aaron know that I like hearing that, that I want Victor Channing to be as obsessed with me as I am with him. “He's been obsessed with you for years. Even in elementary school …” Aaron starts, trailing off.
“Even in elementary school, what?” I ask, but then Kara's tearing the back door open and scrambling into the van.
“Bernadette!” she says, reaching around the seat to hug me. I grin as I turn around, and she settles into her own seat, reaching out to take Ashley's backpack so her cousin can get in, too. “Are we going shopping for makeup? You said we could get makeup.”
“I don't see why not?” I start, looking back at Aaron. He smiles at me, as if he didn't almost just admit something happened in elementary school, of all places. “Let's grab Heather, and we can go to the drugstore or something.”
“Your wish is my command,” Aaron says, but with a surprising lack of sarcasm. He starts the van and we head over to grab Heather. I feel like a shitty sister-mom, pulling her out of the afterschool program so often, but it's whatever works, right? Whatever it takes to keep her happy and away from her father's idle hands.
We go to the same drugstore where Hael and I got the morning-after pill, and I help the girls choose their makeup carefully. Aaron stands back at first, but Kara and Ashley are far more skilled at engaging him than I am.
