Page 30 of Chaos at Prescott High (The Havoc Boys 2)
“Aaron,” I begin, rocking against him again, knowing that Vic won't have gone far. Likely, he's right outside the front door. Shit, maybe he's watching me again? One can only hope. He deserves to see this, deserves to see me and Aaron wrapped up in each other. “If you don't start treating me like a member of Havoc, instead of your childhood sweetheart, we're going to have problems.”
“How do you want me to treat you then?” he barks back at me, gritting his teeth. I'm pissing him off. Good. That's how I want him. I don't want him gazing at me like I'm the love of his life, like he needs to set me free, send me off to Nantucket to lounge on the beach and sip cherry cola as I make eyes at the town cutie. That's not my life. That's not what I'm destined to do.
Fate has never been kind to me, so I decline to be kind to fate. I'm going to twist my entire destiny and put it on a course that I've chartered—even if that course sends me straight into the pits of Hades.
“Treat me like the newest member of your little gang. Treat me like an initiate, but keep in mind that one day I'll be queen.” Aaron's eyes narrow, his mouth tightening into a thin line. He doesn't like the implications—that by marrying Vic, I'll be his queen—but he doesn't challenge them. Not yet. That's what I want. I hadn't realized it until now, but that's what I need. I want Aaron to stand up for me, to fight for us, for what we could have been.
Whether he likes it or not, I'm a part of Havoc. Blood in, blood out, right? And I don't know how long this particular arrangement—that is, me being the only woman in the group—is going to last, but for now, I'm going to take advantage of it.
These boys are mine, even if they've managed to royally piss me off. I'm going to use them the same way they're using me.
“You want me to treat you like shit, huh?” Aaron quips back, scowling at me. I'd say it doesn't fit his face, but I have to face reality the same way he does: Aaron is not the boy I grew up with. I am not that girl. We have to accept who we are together, or else we're never going to get along. That, and I have to know all his secrets, all of Havoc's secrets. I need to know if they've castrated someone and carved Rapist into their forehead. I need to know if they have a video of my sister and the Thing. I need to know what Kali truly paid them and why they did what they did to me. “Because I can do that.”
“How many girls have you been with since me?” I ask, rocking my hips again, feeling his muscles tighten underneath me. Carefully, I peel the bandage from his shoulder, staring at Nurse Yes-Scott's tiny, little stitches, watching the blood ooze out from between them. He's going to have a nasty scar there, no doubt about that. Aaron doesn't say anything for several minutes, so I push my panties against his crotch again. They're soaked straight through. I wonder if he can feel that when he reaches down and grabs my ass in two tattooed hands.
“Are you hoping for a specific answer?” he asks, looking me in the face, his eyes the color of the fall leaves outside, this glorious mix of green and gold and brown. Nuanced, just like he is. “Because you're not going to like it.”
I go still, pausing the movement of my hips, waiting for an answer to a simple question.
“Will I be jealous?” I ask carefully, feeling that hungry monster inside of me, green with envy and eating up self-confidence that I know I have. I've got plenty to burn, so it doesn't shake me too much, but I need to hear this answer. I need him to tell me he slept with a hundred girls, but that all of them had my face, that he used them because he couldn't have me. That's what I want to hear. Instead, he surprises the shit out of me.
“I haven't slept with anyone since,” he tells me, and he sounds almost … shamed by it. “I gave up the only girl I ever loved; I hurt her. I don't deserve to be happy, and I most definitely don't need to fuck somebody I don't like. That I'll never love.”
I stay stone-still, unsure about what to think. He said I wasn't going to like his answer: he was right. He isn't supposed to be able to surprise me, to convince me that he's got a spark of the old Aaron deep inside somewhere. That isn't fair, not when I've just finally embraced the dark side.
