I do.
And I wish I didn’t.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are …”
Neil used to force Pen and me to play with him, chasing us through the dark as we scrabbled like rats to avoid him. If he found us, it usually wasn’t good. He was always drunk back then, and he’d knock us around a bit, just for fun.
“I’m going to give you a fifteen second head start,” Neil tells me, tapping the butt of his gun against his palm. “But if I find you …” he trails off and then aims his weapon at the angel statue above Penelope’s grave. My eyes widen and my breath quickens, but I can’t do anything but watch as he pulls the trigger and blows off her head. Bits of marble that look like skull fragments explode across the grass as I take off running, weaving between tombstones and around mausoleums.
I need to find somewhere to hide, I think, eyes darting around the cemetery as the sun dips low in the sky and the birds call out their final songs from the trees around us. The Thing is laughing, the sound echoing across the freshly-mowed grass as he counts down from fifteen.
“Twelve,” he continues, his voice a maniac growl. He’s planned this all perfectly, lying in wait on his belly and watching with eyes above the swampy water for us to venture too close to the watering hole. See, Neil isn’t about showy moves like dumping a kids’ corpse in a trunk. He just crawls around on curved claws until an opportunity arises.
Just like it has today.
And this, this is why he’s always been so goddamn dangerous.
“Eleven.”
I keep running, being careful not to trip. I need every second I can get to put space between me and him. But the issue with this graveyard is that it’s carved from the woods and surrounded by a cast-iron fence that’d be very difficult to climb in handcuffs.
I have to find a way to get the jump on Neil, I realize as his countdown ends, and I swing behind a statue of the archangel Michael. He’s the defender of justice, right? Seems a fitting place to stand as I struggle to control my breathing, to stay quiet, to channel the cat-like silence of the Havoc Boys.
If you don’t get him, Bernie, he’ll get you. Be proactive, not reactive.
“Ready or not, here I come!” Neil calls out as I close my eyes to block out the graveyard, focusing on his footsteps and the clinking of the keys at his belt. “Bernadette …” he oozes, working his way toward the woods.
I imagine he’ll keep a close eye on the exit and the fence, assuming that I’ll try to make a run for it. Instead, I’m going to do the opposite and head into the thick of the graveyard, using the tombstones to hide.
“You know how good your sister’s pussy felt?” he asks, causing my eyes to fly open with angry tears. I grit my teeth to keep from crying out. Hearing him say that … it’s like torture, pure torture. He knows it, too, and like a hunter with a dog, he’s trying to flush me out. “The last night that I fucked her was the last night she was alive. Did you know that, Bernie? Did you?”
A gunshot explodes into the quiet, sending a flock of songbirds into the sky, their voices high with fear. I use the moment to peek around the corner of the mausoleum, spotting Neil just forty feet from me. He’s just knocked the head off of another statue, leaving destruction and disrespect in his wake.
I exhale and then duck low, struggling to crawl with my arms bound by the cuffs. I don’t make it nearly as far as I want, rolling over and sitting up with my back against another tombstone.
“Does it bother you that she killed herself?” he asks, moving slowly across the grass, gun held ready, clasped in both of his hairy hands. I close my eyes. “Left you here to suffer the way she did? What sort of big sister does something like that?”
Count to three and then keep going. You can do this. You’ve got this.
I open my eyes again and roll onto my belly, crawling closer to Neil. He’s just in front of and to the right of me, and I know I only have a few precious seconds to find a new hiding spot before he turns and sees me.
There’s a large tomb on my left that I head for, putting my back up against it just before I hear Neil pause. He’s listening for any sound, any clue.
“When I find you,” he tells me, his voice thick with lust. I can hear him smacking his lips in anticipation. “I’m going to shoot you in the leg, and then play with you until you stop screaming. If you’re a real good girl then I’ll take you to the hospital and you can tell them how your boyfriend’s gang jumped and killed your vice principal and then turned their sights on you. This doesn’t have to end in your death, Bernie. It could be fun for both of us.”