Page 109 of Devils' Day Party
“Sometimes tomorrow never comes,” I repeat for the last time as a stray tear leaks down my face, and my eyes close of their own accord. Big, stupid idiot, telling me he doesn’t believe in ghosts when he’s already seen one. Love blooms like a rose inside my chest, complete with thorns, cutting me to pieces and leaving me to bleed to death.
“Je t'appartiendrai malgré tout. Toujours,” he murmurs as I drift to sleep, wrapped up in Calix's arms and feeling his breath in my hair. Regardless, I’ll still belong to you. Always.
I have no choice but to spend the next three days crying at home.There's blood all over my steering wheel.
I'm too stunned by the reset of my life to move the way I should, to push the lock down on my car door and drive off. And I'm punished for my inaction, on top of everything.
Calix rips the door open and yanks me out, just days after promising that everything would be different. It’s an emotional blow, one that I’ve avoided for three fucking days. If I’d had to deal with his animosity just minutes after falling asleep in his arms, his cum still warm between my thighs, I’d have probably puked all over his shiny Crescent Prep shoes.
I find myself thrown against the side of Little Bee anyway, Calix’s hands gripping my upper arms, his grasp dangerously tight. It’s a chore not to roll my eyes, to just stand there and pretend like this is any other day. Because it’s not. Each new day on this time loop hurts in a way that’s impossible to put to words.
“Are you fucking insane?!” Calix snarls, and I decide I can't take it. Shoving him off with both hands, I turn and run toward the convenience store, bursting through the glass doors and looking around frantically.
“Where is Raz?” I ask Barron, my eyes meeting his as I swallow back that moment in the chapel when he pulled my shoe off and began to massage my foot. Do not go there, not right now.
Barron looks up from the aisle he's bent over, the hood of his white sweatshirt pulled up, a pink lollipop between his lips. He points back in the direction of the cold drinks, and I dart down the aisle.
Raz turns as I get close, eyes widening slightly as I barrel into him, throwing my arms around his neck and closing my own eyes against tears.
I know what I have to do, but it's hard. It's fucking hard. I gave up a timeline I wanted to live for somebody I don't even like. And it hurts.
“I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do it,” I whisper against his ear, knowing he has no idea what I'm talking about. “Raz, I like you. I always have. Can't you tell, the way we always shoot shit back and forth? You're a verbal curb-stomper.” I turn back to him and press our mouths together before he even gets a chance to react. My tongue slides along the seam between Raz's lips, and after a brief instant of hesitation, he kisses me back, hands gripping my ass. Heat spirals through me, followed closely by relief.
A touch on my shoulder startles me, and I break away from Raz as Barron drops his hand to his side.
“What the actual fuck?” he asks me. Barron, not Raz. His dual-colored eyes are bright with a frustration that it takes me a moment to untangle.
“Nice Devils' Day trick,” Raz says with a sneer, pressing his advantage by squeezing my ass. “If you want to fuck me to prove a point, I accept. Tell me you love me, and I'll believe it.”
“I love you,” I say, but without an ounce of mirth, just a gentle frown and drying tears. Raz's expression is priceless; I've shocked the shit out of him.
Seconds later, Calix comes storming into the store, making his way over to me in the sharp creases of his Crescent Prep uniform with its clean, tailored lines. The logo—the moon on its side, the knife and rod crossed behind it—shimmers in silver stitching from the purple fabric.
“This bitch just hit my fucking car,” he snaps, and I have to close my eyes against a feeling of nausea.
“You did what, Trailer Park?” Raz asks, but he doesn't set me down. His fingers relax on my ass, but he's still holding me. I open my eyes and look him in the face.
“I'm running out of options, Raz,” I tell him, knowing he's going to misinterpret my words. “For how to do this, so why not just be honest from moment one? I love you.”
“Set her down, Raz,” Calix snaps as Barron cracks the lollipop in his mouth with his teeth.
“What are you doing, Karma?” Raz looks at me like he's never quite faced a problem of this magnitude. “We get it: you want to fuck with us today.”
