Page 32 of Devils' Day Party
Or hell.
More than likely, it’s hell.
“See you at the party,” Barron says, and then he turns and leaves me to stand alone on the sidewalk.“You did what?!” Luke crows as I stand in front of her, trying my best to maintain some sort of calm. But it’s hard, I’ll admit. All I want to do is go home and sleep, but I’m terrified to close my eyes again. The last few times I did, I woke up at the gas station. So today, I’m going to do my best to go through the motions without hurting anyone I love, and see what happens. Maybe that’s all I need to do? “I can see the headline now: three hundred thousand-dollar Aston Martin crushed by shitty yellow VW bug with eyelashes. What a glorious start to Devils’ Day!”
I say nothing in response. In fact, I probably look like a weirdo, standing there quiet and sullen as Luke laughs and April tilts her head to one side.
“Are you okay?” she asks after a moment, breaking the script. I almost sob with relief. If I had to hear another line repeated over again, I might’ve just collapsed to the ground and given up. “Because you don’t look it. There’s some blood on your forehead and your eyes are a bit glassy. I think you should go to the nurse’s office.”
“No,” I say, but the word comes out in a whisper and Luke stops laughing abruptly, turning to look at me with a hint of fear in her gaze. “I don’t need to see the nurse; my moms took me to the hospital, and it turns out that I’m just fine.”
“They took you to the hospital?” Luke asks, exchanging a look with April. “It’s over an hour away. How did you get there and back so quick?”
“I …” I don’t know how to respond to her question, so I don’t. Instead, I glance over at the imposing form of Crescent Preparatory Academy and wonder if this where I have to spend the rest of eternity, in this big stupid Tudor building with a bunch of rich rejects that I hate, but only because they hate me. I never wanted that. When I started here in freshman year, I thought I could change their minds, show them that their wealth and privilege didn’t make them any better than me.
I’ve completely and utterly failed to do anything of the sort. I’m not some kind of folk hero. Instead, I’m just a girl living a nightmare and wishing it would end.
“April is right,” Luke says, squeezing the pack of powdered donuts in her hand enough that they’re probably ruined. “You’re pale. I mean, you’re white as fuck, so you’re always pale, but … this isn’t a normal sort of paleness. You’re ashen, Karma.”
I stare at her and before I realize it, the tears are coming, hot and salty as they run down my cheeks.
“Oh, Karma,” she says, exchanging a quick look with April before she pulls me into her arms and squeezes me so tightly that I can’t breathe. I think about her talking to my moms about Calix, spilling my secrets without telling me about it. But it’s impossible to be mad about something that might never have happened. “What’s wrong?” Luke leans back, looking at me with her dark brown eyes, her anime-blue hair wafting gently in the breeze. “You still love him, don’t you?”
“I never loved him,” I snap back, but it feels like a lie, even though it’s not. I never loved Calix. I … I don’t know why I gave into him last year, but it wasn’t because of that. Maybe I just wanted to try the whole sex thing, so I could stop wondering about it? He was good, too—probably a byproduct of all his whoring around—so at least there’s that. We did it; it felt good. End of story. You’re such a liar, even to yourself. “Look, I’m just having a shitty day, okay? I don’t want to talk about Calix or the Knight Crew or anything else.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course, no worries,” Luke says, pulling the goblin mask from her book bag. It makes me feel sick, watching her put it on. No matter how I deviate from the formula, the universe steers me right back in the same direction.
“God, this town is weird,” April murmurs, and I decide I just can’t take it anymore. I thought I could force myself to follow the original day step by step, but I can’t. I can’t stand how surreal it feels, how wrong it feels. My mouth burns with the taste of copper, and I turn away, storming into the woods and away from the school as April and Luke call out after me.
Then I start to run, and I don’t stop until I’m climbing inside my car and peeling out of the parking lot.
