Nathan, the annoying and seemingly useless night watchmen, has been following me around quite a bit lately at my dad’s behest. That makes me wonder if he’s a tad less creepy and a bit more on our side, but since I can’t exactly go up to him and ask what he knows about a mysterious cult lurking in underground tunnels beneath the school, I’m resigned to his presence.
“We never get to talk anymore,” Monica says, lying back on her bed with her dark hair trimmed short, her makeup relaxed and casual. This is a big turnaround for her, considering that in the past, she’d rather stay at home and miss a weekend of partying than be seen with a bit of bloating from her period.
“Um, I begged you to talk to me when I first got here, and you and Cody blew me off like nothing,” I remind her, twirling a bit of blond hair around one of my fingers and realizing that I’ve already just slipped back into my Valley Girl accent.
Monica cringes, but I get no satisfaction out of her reaction. It’s not fair for me to say that I forgive her, and then continue holding the Cody thing over her head. And honestly? She did me a favor. I’d take any one of my new beaus over Cody any day, let alone five deliciously rich assholes.
Wait.
Deliciously rich asshole? That sounds gross as fuck, like … a butthole covered in chocolate sauce or something. Gag. Vom.
“You’re right,” she says, sighing and closing her eyes for a moment. I know that she’s over Cody, and she seems happy, but also, I’m pretty sure she liked him far more than I ever did. His betrayal hurts. “I have no right to complain, but I miss you. It was never the same after you left, like the magic went when you did.”
I snort, and she lifts a lovely microbladed eyebrow at me.
“Please. The only magic I bring with me is an innate talent for pissing people off, a habit of blurting inappropriate things, and an obsession with romance. I’ve fallen in love with every boy on the Student Council.” Speaking of … right after we get back from fall break, it’s go time. A week of debates followed by election day.
They might not be Student Council boys anymore.
And for someone like Aster Hayes to be president? No, thank you. Church is the fucking prince of this school. He’s on the brochures for crap’s sake.
“Where is your gaggle of boyfriends anyway?” Monica asks as I sit up and stretch an arm over my head, using the other to keep my phone more or less focused on my face.
“Well, two of them are practicing martial arts moves in the gym, another one of them is baking in the buff while his best friend does calculus next to him, and the last one is waiting just outside the cracked door of this room.”
“Sorry to ruin the gossip train,” Spencer says, peeking his head in, and then moving into the room when I gesture his way. “If you need to talk shit about me, I understand. Just make sure you let her know that I do, in fact, have the biggest dick of all the guys.”
“I haven’t seen enough of Church’s yet to know for sure,” I blurt, and then I groan and fall back into the pillows. “Okay, I’m hanging up now. You bring out the ho in me.”
“Every girl has a ho inside, waiting to liberate her from the puritanical shackles of our modesty-based society that shames women for having natural pleasure and dominion over their own bodies. Enjoy all that dick, and we’ll talk soon!”
She ends the call, and I, in my infinite grace and poise, drop the phone right on my face by accident. Spencer’s right there in an instant, pulling me up and into his arms, like I’m actually suffering much more than bruised pride.
“Ah, Chuck-let, you’re bleeding,” he says, reaching up with the edge of his blazer sleeve to wipe some of the red away. I try to slap his hand back, so he doesn’t stain his uniform, but he ignores me and dabs the liquid away from my upper lip. “It’s gonna be hard to kiss you now, babe.”
“Babe?” I ask, lifting a skeptical brow in his direction. But he’s impossible not to like, with those cocksure grins, vibrant eyes, and silver hair. His face is a bit more angular, like the twins’, but he has a squarer jaw, closer to Ranger’s. “That’s a new one.”
“I’m testing out extra nicknames, just so I’ve got fun things to call you from across the room. Babe seemed pretty tame, but knowing how much you love insults like condom face, ass pig, and toilet brush, I figure I’ll get creative next time. I’m playing around with my little slice of hot sauce toast, in homage to your favorite breakfast food.”
