“Actually, I didn't,” I say, coming up to stand beside him and leaning my butt against the railing. He smiles, but the expression is tight, and I get the idea that this memory hurts him as much as it does Tobias.
“Well, we did. And while we were there, we met a girl named Amber Muse.” He smiles a bit more, but it's a sad expression that doesn't quite reach his eyes. “She lived with her mom in a shitty trailer on her grandfather's property.” He pauses and looks my way with a small quirk teasing the edge of his mouth. “Anyway, Tobias and I were both really into her, but, uh …” He trails off again and sighs, leaning forward and putting his forehead against his forearms. “As usual, she preferred Tobias over me.”
One of my brows goes up, and I lean down, trying to get at eye level with Micah McCarthy.
“What do you mean, as usual?” I ask, and then one of the koi fish slaps its tail on the surface of the water and splashes the tops of my feet, making me squeal. Micah grins and chuckles as he lifts his head up.
“It's been like this forever,” he says, shrugging his shoulders like he doesn't care. I can tell that he does. “Our parents, our friends, girls. What do you do when there are two twins? You pick one. Tobias has always been the nicer of the two of us, the more relatable.” He lifts a brow and then glances my way. “Even you were attracted to him first.”
I open my mouth to argue but then snap it shut. Micah's right. Tobias has a gentler demeanor, but I have to admit, there's something about Micah's sharp edges that I like. I don't prefer his twin over him. Hell, I don't prefer any of the Adamson Student Council boys over the others, and I have a feeling that by the end of the year, that could be a problem.
“Anyway, Tobias and Amber started dating, and I admit, I was jealous. I …” He sighs and stands up the rest of the way, putting his palms on the railing and looking past the koi pond toward the gate. There's a cop car without its sirens on, followed by a plain black SUV, and they're both pulling onto the property.
Micah and I exchange a look, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out what they're doing here.
“You were jealous,” I repeat, looking him over and seeing this vulnerable side to him that I never expected. “And then what?” Micah's green eyes slide over to the uniformed police officers and detectives climbing out of their cars before flicking back to me.
“Amber's mom went into rehab,” he says, and my heart clenches, thinking of my own mother and her struggles with addiction and rehab. “And neither of us could stand the thought of her living alone in that crappy trailer by herself. We invited her to live with us—our parents barely cared since they're never around.” Micah gives a self-deprecating sort of smile, and I feel like I can see his layers peeling away to reveal the real McCarthy boy underneath. “That room, the one with the ocean view and the balcony, we moved out of it and gave it to her.”
Micah pushes away from the railing as the petals come loose from one of the trees. I lift my hand up and catch some, like pink snow on the surface of my palm. The petals are soft and delicate; I think they're cherry blossoms.
“She lived there for three months before …” Micah stops and bites at his lower lip for a moment, reaching out to pluck a petal from my hair. “Tobias was gone one night, at some MMA thing that I bowed out of. I told him I was sick, but I lied; I just didn’t want to see him with Amber. I had no idea she was staying home that night, too.”
“So, you were alone with her?” I clarify, and he nods, reaching up to run his hand down his face.
“I stole some of my dad’s stupid craft beers, and lit some candles, and we just hung out and talked all night. Just before Tobias got home, we …” Micah shrugs his shoulders again, and I feel the dark snake of jealousy rear its ugly head inside of me. “That was my first time,” he admits, biting his lower lip and looking me over like he's waiting to see a particular emotion. I must surprise him a bit because his brows go up. “Anyway, we kept our affair ongoing for a while. Almost two months. One day, Tobias walked in on us and everything fell apart.”
“How do you mean?” I ask, imagining the pain from both sides. What Micah did was wrong, but I can see the progression, how he got there. I don't think he ever meant to hurt his twin.
