“Um, mostly a lot of moaning, but a bit of a scream, too,” Monica laughs, and then squeals when I flick cereal at her. “But seriously, for you to let yourself go like that, he must be really special.”
My cheeks flush, but I lick my lower lip.
“He is, but I’m not,” I mumble, and she gives me a look, her dark eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Seriously? Does he know that?” she tosses her glossy espresso hair over her shoulder and then surreptitiously sneaks a peek at her phone. Monica's dating some rich douche bag from Burberry Prep Academy. Guess I can't really judge though, considering that all my new friends in the Student Council are also rich douche bags. Except ... maybe they're just rich, and not so much douches? “And what about your hottie twins? Charlotte, do not even start getting down on yourself right now. Clearly, they all see something in you.”
“I guess.” I scoop a bite of cereal into my mouth as Monica puts a hand on her hip and gives me a look.
“For real?” she asks, and then her face softens slightly. “I mean, look at you. You’re seriously fucking cool, dating three dudes like that. It's our time, you know? Like after centuries of patriarchal bullshit, a little polyamory is the least men can do.” She hits the button on the blender, and churns up this green gunk that I wouldn't eat unless I were a literal cow whose favorite foods were cud and clover. It even smells like dirt.
“Are we okay?” she asks after she turns it off and transfers it to a stainless steel thermos, glancing over at me with as much indecision and shame as I've ever seen in her face. Anger rides hard in me, but I push away the pain of that single day, and try to remember all the good times we had together.
It works, at least a little.
“We could get there,” I say, “as long as you let me stay here the rest of the school year.”
“Oh, for sure,” she gushes, trying to keep her cool. I can tell she's excited though. I think, despite the amount of people she surrounds herself with, that Monica is secretly lonely. I think before I met the Student Council, that I was, too.
“Once trust is broken, it takes even more to heal that wound than it does to start fresh, but let's try, okay? I miss you.” Monica's cheeks flush and she nods, but there's a determination in her gaze that I appreciate. “Should we go surfing after school? I haven't been in forever. We'll be lucky if I can manage to stand up on the board.”
“Oh hell yes. I'll gather the girls ... but only if you want?”
I nod.
When I moved to Connecticut, I put my life on pause, just waiting around for it to start up again. I won't make that same mistake again.
Besides, the busier I keep myself here, the faster the days will go by, and I'll get to see my friends again.
And my … boyfriends.
Like, plural.
How weird is that?When the first of May rolls around, I start counting down the days until school is out. Nothing's happened at Adamson since I left, and I start to get this sick, guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Is Eugene dead because of me?
I know that's a strange thought, but clearly the people responsible for his murder are the same ones after me, the ones who left the notes telling me to leave. If I'd gone sooner, would that have stopped the violence? Would that have saved Ranger from almost drowning?
There's no way to answer that, so I don't try.
Instead, I finish up the day and then sit waiting for Monica until I get a text telling me she's stuck making up a math test. She promises she'll only be a half an hour, so I decide to wait in the back courtyard area, lovingly referred to as Dandelion Court since, you know, our gardening club sucks, and the place is filled with big white dandelion puffs.
Sunning myself on one of the brick walls, I pull up Jenica’s journal and start reading. I’ve been trying to get at least a page or two in every night, but it wasn’t until last night that I really started to get to the good stuff. And by good stuff, I mean bad stuff.
A few months into the school year, Jenica was close to having a nervous breakdown. Between schoolwork, her new relationship with Rick, and trying to decide on a college, she ended up making some fairly questionable decisions. Spencer’s brother, Jack, sold her some coke, and some pills, and the entries after that are much different.
I think she may have been a bit of an addict.Today, I was walking back to the dorm when I realized I just needed a minute to myself. I took off through the trees, and I started running with no idea as to where I was going. That’s when I ran into them.
