Or … maybe this is a good change? I was due for some change, I think.
While the twins rub all over their friend, Church walks in slowly and silently, still frowning, and then pauses in the center of the room with Ranger right behind him. His eyes flick briefly to mine, and in them, I can see it: he knows.
They'll all know.
I'm sitting in a dorm room with a bunch of dudes, and they're all gonna know that I just lost it to Spencer. I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't overwhelmed with so many other feelings.
Everyone goes quiet when Church goes still, wearing those pale blue and white satin-y pajamas that seem to suit his personality. The color is cute, but the shirt is buttoned all the way to the top, a very serious sort of statement. He stares at his friend with those striking amber eyes of his.
“Church,” Spencer says carefully, sitting up as the twins scoot away to give him some room. Tobias meets my eyes, and raises his brows. I look at Church instead, refusing to acknowledge that questioning stare of his.
“Spencer,” Church replies, and then his mouth breaks into one of those huge, over the top grins. “You cocksucking piece of shit.”
“Dude, I had no—” Spencer starts when the door flings open a second time, cracking the drywall. Ross is standing there in a pink pajama set with little sheep all over it. His mouth is downturned in an almost comical sort of way, and tears are just streaming from his usually narrowed and mean sort of eyes. “Uh, Ross, are you okay, man?”
“You … you prick!” Ross wails, rushing into the room and throwing himself at Spencer. He's sobbing too, and the twins have to literally pry him off before he suffocates Spencer with his violent snuggling. As soon as Ross backs up a bit though, he slaps Spencer in the chest with the back of one hand and plants the other on his hip. “Are you stupid? Do you live in a cave? Or maybe you’re living in the nineties, like you’ve forgotten how to send a text message or check social media?”
“I—” Spencer starts, and then pauses, looking around the room like he’s realizing how many people truly care about him for the first time. As I start to calm down, my anxiety and embarrassment start to climb up. When he looks at me, all I can think about is the feel of his body sliding in and out of mine, bringing me to new heights of pleasure. I didn’t even know it could feel that good. It’s not like I’ve never touched myself before, but … having Spencer’s hands on my body was a blessing from the gods. “I’m sorry.”
His words are soft, definitely genuine, and at that, a sort of strange tension leaves the room, and I hear several of the others take in long, deep breaths.
“It’s not your fault,” Church says, settling back into that careful neutral of his. “But you really did give us a pretty shitty week. I say … two weeks of Culinary Club cleanup duty, at least.”
“I second the motion,” Ranger grumbles, trying to cover up a rare smile.
“Third,” the twins murmur in unison, and then turn to glare at one another.
“Motion denied,” Spencer sputters, but Ross is already pulling the stylus from his phone and making a note.
“Minutes recorded, motion transcribed.”
“This is total BS,” Spencer mumbles, but he smiles a little anyway. “Fine, but I'm still pissed at you guys.” He leans back on the bed, shirtless and glorious and most importantly: with a pulse. “You know I hate secrets, so why was I the last to know? You can't trust me, is that it?”
“It was my fault. Ranger asked me to tell you sooner,” I say, standing up from the bed. Ross gives my mussed-up hair and swollen lips a look, like he can tell from that one, simple glance what went on in here. Or … or maybe it smells like sex?!
I choke a little as everyone turns to look at me. Act natural, Charlotte, act natural. Honestly, intimacy with Spencer felt like the most natural thing in the world, despite the fact that it was my first time.
“I've been getting notes from someone who knows my identity. I was trying to keep it a secret as long as possible, from everyone. The twins guessed, and Church saw me naked. Ranger—”
“Church saw you naked?” Spencer asks, this slight edge to his voice.
“It's a long story, maybe best left for tomorrow,” Church says, tilting his head to one side and studying his friend with an awe that I feel inside my chest, like a glowing star or … something. I'm not the most poetic person in the world, but the feeling of seeing this boy alive is something I'll never forget.
