The door opens beside me and Andrew and Miranda walk in. Andrew catches me right before I fall, and I hear Miranda screaming at her brother. The last thing I see before Andrew scoops me up in his arms and carries me out is Miranda yanking the papers from Creed’s hand.
The others boo at her and throw napkins, but we’re already out the door, and Andrew is carrying me straight to my room.
“I can’t believe Creed would go that far!” Miranda chokes out, her face flushed as she paces in front of my bed. Andrew lays me down and gets me a cold rag, and a glass of water, sitting beside me and putting his hand on my leg. I cover his fingers with my own and squeeze. There’s no spark there, I think absently as I try not to throw up. What a random thought to have at such a horrible moment. Maybe I’m in some form of emotional shock?
“How did he get access to that?” Andrew asks, his voice quiet and dark. He glances back at Miranda, and she shakes her head.
“I have no idea. My mom, probably. But how he got that from her, I don’t know. She’s fiercely protective of those essays.”
Leaning back into my pillows, I cover my face with my hands.
From sixth grade through the first half of eighth, I was bullied so badly that I wanted to die. So badly that I tried to end it not once but twice. After that, things got better. People let up, and I realized I had to embrace the positive or the negative would drown me. When I came to Burberry Prep, I came with that idea in mind: embrace my new life, make a fresh start.
And now I’m drowning in it.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I whisper, shoving up from the bed. I just barely make it into the bathroom before what little I had for lunch makes its way back up. Miranda moves into the bathroom and helps me hold my hair back, stroking my forehead for comfort. “I’ll never be able to go to class again.”
“Don’t let them win, Marnye,” she whispers, voice warbly, like maybe she might cry, too. “Creed is … he’s the worst kind of bully there is. Him, and Zayd, Tristan and Harper and Becky. Don’t give into them.”
Without meaning to, I end up crying and hating myself for it. I can take a lot of crap, but that essay was my soul on a page. Now the Idols have everything they need to make my life a living hell. They know all about my father’s alcoholism, his struggle to make ends meet, the things my mother did to me.
After I finish throwing up, I kick Miranda out and climb in the shower, letting the water scald away my humiliation. It’s just never-ending with these people. And all because I’m poor. That’s it. I thought the reasons for my bullying at Lower Banks were bullshit. This is even more arbitrary.
Climbing out of the shower, I find that Miranda’s snuck a stack of pjs into the room, so I change into them and head back out to find that Andrew’s already left.
“I had to beg him not to beat Creed up,” she says, wringing her hands. I raise an eyebrow, but I’m too tired to ask why Andrew would even bother. We’re friends, sure, but just barely. I can’t imagine him beating up an Idol for me. “Do you want me to stay with you for a while?”
I shake my head.
“No, I just … I want to be alone for tonight.”
“Yeah, okay,” she says, giving me a hug before she lets herself out.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I seriously consider walking to the principal’s office and asking to go home. If I left, maybe I could breathe again. It feels like I haven’t taken a single breath since I got here.
All I want is to study and graduate, that’s it. Why does that have to be so hard?
Lying back on the bed, I close my eyes, and within minutes I’m asleep.Navigating the school without running into the Idols or their cronies is impossible. They’re everywhere, and they’ve amped up their game. Even homeroom with Ms. Felton isn’t safe. When her back is turned, I get pills thrown at me. Most everyone’s drawn on their wrists with red Sharpie, lifting up the sleeves of their academy jackets and flashing me in the halls.
The only person who doesn’t seem thrilled by my destruction is Tristan. He’s always moody and frowning, and just barely makes it to class. The Thursday before Halloween, I slip out of third period to go to the bathroom.
As soon as I step inside, I hear the moans.
Tristan has a girl bent over the sink, and he’s fucking her.
