Page 22 of I Was Born Ruined (Death by Daybreak MC 1)
“Not everything is an attack on you, Gidge,” he says, getting irritated with me. As jovial as he is, as friendly as he pretends to be, he's an asshole. Just like the rest of them. “This isn't about you, or women, or even your age.”
“No, this is about a war that my dad started that he doesn't know how to finish,” I reply with cool indifference, putting my earbuds in and cranking the music up before Crown can say another word. He watches me from eyes as pale and beautiful as the pond behind the high school, the one that's always mossy and crowded with water plants. They're organic, those eyes, so at odds with the rest of him.
I turn toward the wall and stare at the purple paint, determined, determined, determined not to cry.
Grey Wolfe.
I know they're not a joke. I was there, hiding in a pantry when my sisters lost their lives.
No, better than anyone else, I know how real this all is.By the end of the week, I'm starting to get suspicious. I know Gaz is still fuming about the bonfire thing (luckily nobody knows about the lake except Grainger and, obviously, Cat). But my brother is not the type to let things go. No, that man holds a grudge like nobody's business.
On Friday, just before the youth group retreat, I come home and find him waiting in the living room for me, draped over Nellie's perfect white couch in his greasy jeans and dirty leather vest.
“Fuck,” I say as soon as I walk in. Gaz barely comes over here anymore, mostly only if Mom cooks something and guilts him into it. More often than not, he's at the clubhouse fucking groupie girls and snorting coke. “What do you want?”
My brother ignores me for a moment, taking a drink of his beer. He thinks he's better than me, and he doesn't do a damn thing to hide it. Gaz drinks from the club's anti-woman Kool-Aid on a regular basis.
I hate him almost as much as I hate Cat, and much, much more than I hate Grainger (which is a whole fuck of a lot).
I don't wait around—if he wants to talk to me, then he can open his fucking mouth and speak—and head for the stairs. Beast follows slowly along behind me, checking the street briefly before he closes the door.
He doesn't follow me up the stairs.
But Gaz does.
“I don't have time for this,” I say as I throw my backpack on my bed and start pulling things out of it. Really, I'm planning on packing for the retreat, but my lips summon a lie as easily as I breathe. Sometimes, I wonder if I was destined for hell from the day of my birth. What chance do I really have with a family like this? A family that lies and cheats and murders and parties like the devil himself. “I have a research paper I need to get started on.”
“Well, make time,” Gaz says, like I owe him the world. “Grainger told me what happened the other day.”
I pause and my skin goes cold.
A hot warm hand, drenched in ink, covered in the wet heat of my desire. Clutched in my own fingers, the velvet curve of a cock. The air punctuated by grunts and growls and moans.
“You mean the lake,” I say, refusing to break stride, pausing only to pat Fem on the head. My brother hates my dog almost as much as my dog hates him. “What about it? Grainge was there.”
“According to him, you snuck off.”
Footsteps sound behind me, but I don't care. Gaz has been trying to intimidate me for years. He says I don’t know my place. What he doesn't realize is that I know it all too well. To him, to my dad, to the club, I'm just a piece of property, a pawn on a chessboard to be moved at will. I have no decisions to make or goals to aspire to. I simply am. Any action I take is just an extension of my brother and father.
You'd never know by asking my male relatives what century we're living in.
A hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around, the grip so rough and painful that I actually cry out.
“What the hell, Gaz?” I ask as he shoves me violently against the desk.
Fem goes completely batshit, launching himself at my brother's leg. With one easy backhand, Gaz sends the husky flying against the closet doors.
“Leave him the fuck alone!” I scream, but my brother's already dragging me forward by the arm, leaving bruises in his wake. As Fem struggles to stand, shaking his head like he's really taken a serious blow, Gaz shakes me so violently that my teeth rattle in my skull.
“I am done with your shit,” he snarls, and I can see from his pupils that he's completely strung out. “This rebellious crap? It's over, Gidge. You hear me?”
