Page 32 of Plaidypus
Right. Lycanthrope families tended to produce children consistently due to the virus’s insistence on spreading. “Well, at least you called it a habit rather than a problem. How did they afford a new car?”
My brother chuckled. “Don’t ask.”
“I’m asking.”
He sighed. “Mom won the lottery.”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Mom won the lottery.”
As there was no way in hell our mother could have possibly won any lottery, I stole his phone out of his hand, went to the browser, and typed in our last name and lottery in the search engine.
Sure enough, I found a picture of our mother’s face, dated two years ago, declaring her to have won a rather sizable lottery, bagging her a significant number of millions. I stared at the article, my shoulders slumping. “So all those times she told us we could impose?”
“She meant it. I didn’t find out until the video went viral and Mom offered to just help if we needed help. They always let us think nothing had changed because she didn’t want to undermine our ability to survive without them. Dad’s a cop because he wants to be a cop. The best part? Mom just randomly decided to get a lottery ticket one day. She normally hates the things, but she was in the store and decided why not. She claims the Devil possessed her, but instead of sending her to hell, he compensated her for his visit instead.”
“You load a video to the internet, it goes viral, and the internet gives me a truck, and then we find out our parents have more money than sense, and instead of spending the money, they’re just chilling out in New York working as normal?”
“Yep.” My brother laughed and stole his phone back, typing at the screen. “So, I enabled ads on the video, and I took down the crowdfund when it was obviously getting out of hand, thanking everyone for their contributions. Someone from a financial firm offered to, as his contribution, help us invest the extra. I accepted that offer. I kept enough for us to move and get back on our feet, but we’ll actually have a retirement fund. I didn’t want to come across as being greedy, you know? But people really loved your commentary, and it just snowballed out of control. So the ads will give us some money here and there, and that’s a great thing. I didn’t really think it would work, but it did.”
I eyed my new truck. “How much did she cost, Matthieu?”
My brother gulped. “All in, she was a hundred and thirty grand. That includes all the upgrades, the accessories we got her, and the bling. I spent like a thousand on bling for her. I couldn’t decide on any one license plate cover, so I got you like six sets to choose from. The steering wheel cover cost a fortune, but you’ll love it. It has bling and won’t interfere with the wheel’s handwarmer.”
My new truck had handwarmers? Damn. “A hundred and thirty grand isn’t that much more than what I paid for the old one.”
“US dollars, Nadine.”
Fuck. That shot the new truck to well over what my old one had cost. “Please tell me the car is cheaper.”
“It is cheaper. It’s from a different dealership, but considering how much we spent on the truck, they didn’t mind us parking your new baby here for the pickup.”
“But I can’t drive two…” I frowned. “I could get a trailer.”
“Or, you can just hook up to the back of the truck. You have the pulling assembly as part of your accessories. But a trailer can be in your future if you want. That said, we already made plans for transporting the second vehicle. Someone with the CDC will be driving the vehicle you don’t pick to go on your road trip. It’s being treated as a reward job, so some lucky bastard gets paid to take your vehicle to New York. Honestly, I recommend you take the car. I have no idea where Mom and Dad got the money for it, but I saw the pictures pre-wrapping, and you’ll love it. It’s just sporty enough for you to have fun, but it’s not one of those expensive frou-frou cars you don’t like. I mean, it was more expensive than you’re going to like, but none of us have ever heard you complain about the brand.”
“All right, I’ll bite. What it is? And if it is a BMW, everyone dies.”
“It isn’t a brand we’ve heard you complain about, Nadine.”
“I don’t complain about thebrand. I complain about the brand’s drivers. There is a big difference. To be fair, it could just be that our slice of Canada just has idiots who happen to buy BMWs. But I haven’t complained about thevehicles.But I still draw a line. Tell me how you want to die if this is a BMW.”
My brother laughed. “It’s not a BMW. If you want to know what it is, you’re going to have to go unwrap it and find out. It is fancier than a lot of the dealerships you look at, though. It is also not an Audi.”
“Audi makes decent cars, but the maintenance bills are wretched. Their reliability could use some work. I’m not against paying higher maintenance bills, but the Audis I’ve liked the look of tend to need actual repairs more often than I like.”
“Would it help if I told you that Mom and Dad didn’t even blink at the price of the vehicle?”
“Maybe a little,” I admitted. As the car wasn’t going to unwrap itself, I debated how to approach the problem. Did I want to start with the hood and reveal the make early? Did I want to attack from the side and try to guess from the vehicle’s profile? I took a few steps back, snapped my fingers, and pointed at my new car. “Unwrap it for me. I want to guess what it is.”
Laughing, my brother went to do as I asked, starting with the bow and untying it from the vehicle. He brought it to me and placed it on my head. As it was large enough to engulf my head, I snorted, took it off, and held it, marveling over its ridiculous size. “The bow is a bit much.”
“Which is why Mom insisted it be put on the car.” With the bow out of the way, Matthieu wasted no time ripping the rest of the paper off, revealing a red car. “There was red, blue, or one of a million shades of white, gray, silver, or black. Mom decided you needed something other than white, gray, silver, or black, so you got red. The blue was out of stock. And since your new truck is also red, Mom liked the idea of your vehicles matching.”
As I’d endured the reality of people thinking white, gray, silver, or black vehicles resold better later down the road, I appreciated our mother’s effort to get me something a little more unique than the standard. “I like red cars. I also like red trucks.”
“You like anything that isn’t exactly like everyone else.”
