Page 80 of Plaidypus
“You mean that she basically operates on the stuff, and mayHehave mercy on the souls of those who get between her and her next hit?” The wolf snickered. “That took me all of five minutes to figure out. Her brother had kept a secret stash for when she’d run out, and it was the good stuff.”
“Eh. He must have splurged on Godiva.”
“He had. When we’d come to answer his inquiry, we’d ended up clearing the town out of hot chocolate keeping up with her virus.”
“Insufficiently eating while trying to donate blood to her brother, if my understanding of the situation is correct.”
Yep. Once my father got me to the United States, we’d be having a talk about my poor life choices. “In my defense, I hadn’t realized how many extra calories I needed. But I did all right.”
My father, to my surprise, began to laugh. “You did better than all right. You and your brother are just fine, and it seems you might be bringing home someone to your mother. So, why were you kidnapped and brought to Australia? I wasn’t told.”
Uh oh. If my father found out why, he’d destroy the entire country. There’d be nothing left of Australia, and it would be my fault. “People are stupid.”
“While that is a painful truth, that is not a specific reason why they wanted you.”
“I’m the world’s best platypus, so it makes sense they wanted me to grace them with my presence,” I countered.
Maybe if I left out the details, Australia would survive. Maybe.
My father’s eyes narrowed, warning me I had not succeeded at my attempt to defend the sunbaked country from his wrath. “Platypus lycanthropes?”
Ponies couldn’t growl, but when motivated enough, humans could, and my father did an admirable job of pretending he was a predator species instead of prey. Hiding under Icy seemed wise, but while lycanthropes and shapeshifters had more strength than the average human, I burrowed into my blanket to hide, rather than move the moose.
Maybe the speed of moose might give me the ability to get to my kidnappers before my pony of a father did. Thatmightsave Australia.
On second thought, it would be a mercy to unleash the Geese of the Apocalypse and let them sort the problem out. Even my father possessed the base common sense to avoid the rage of a goose on a mission.
“Maybe we should just unleash the geese now,” I muttered.
“It’s your rock, you can do whatever you want with it,” Leonard replied.
“Rock?” my father asked in an exasperated tone.
“She made a deal with Lucifer to give her the power of Canadian malice in the form of a stone. When she throws it, it will summon the Geese of the Apocalypse, and they will, as far as I understand, purge the Earth of many evils while also punishing those who kidnapped your daughter.”
“That’s accurate,” Darlene reported. “And she could throw it now and the job would be done, leaving us to check in just to be sure their would-be victim is protected. But they are magical geese and fly at a rather unnatural speed. There will be more evil and chaos sown than if she took the stone directly to the culprits, but those who get in their way deserve that fate. We’d still have to head over in the morning, but it would be for cleanup rather than any direct murdering. Or we could watch the news in the morning to find out just how nasty my husband was feeling when he made that stone.”
“Which would annoy Lucifer the most?” I asked.
Darlene laughed. “Oh, throwing it now and being lazy, for certain. Belial will love it because it’s deserved, it’s gloriously efficient on top of being lazy, and all we need to handle is the cleanup. There’s something to be said for efficiency. And your wolf will sleep better tonight knowing the problem has been dealt with.”
While exhausted, I could think of one way to appease my father and my suitor of a wolf. I secured the blanket around myself, scrambled over Icy, and retrieved the stone from its saddle bag, pausing only to pet my moose and tell her she was the best moose to have ever graced the face of the Earth. Getting up, I moved to a safe distance away, added a few more feet, and placed the stone on the ground.
“The overprotective males can fight over the rock. The overprotective male who wins gets to throw the stone and summon the Geese of the Apocalypse while I cuddle with Icy and watch. Darlene, I think I need some hot chocolate to go with my entertainment, if you could abuse your succubus powers?”
Laughing, she pulled out her cell phone and put it to her ear. “Lucy, please go get us a full selection of warm drinks. It’s getting a bit nippy, especially near Icy, which is a welcome relief after how hot it was today. Nadine just pitted her father against her wolf for the right to cast the stone against those who kidnapped her. She wishes to lounge against her moose throne and observe while enjoying a hot chocolate. Make it a good one, and supply her wolf with a stash, so he can continue his efforts to charm her. That will help you secure minion status, and you might even earn some points with the wolf.” Without waiting for an answer, she hung up. “I’ve learned when I want something without a discussion, I hang up. It riles him up, he shows up with what I demanded, and then wants to put me back in my place. That means I get a good time when he takes me home, and everyone is happy.”
I giggled. “Leonard, I think she’s actually the ruler of the many hells and Lucifer just takes the blame for everything.”
Leonard escaped the blanket, stretched, and eyed my father. “How are we going to toss down the gloves? Because that stone will be mine.”
“Eh. There ain’t any rinks near here, so we can’t do that match properly. We can test your hockey skills and general suitability later. You play chess?”
I crossed my eyes at my father’s question. “Chess, Dad? Really?”
Darlene snickered. “I think she’s already satisfied with him intellectually. You’d do your daughter a favor if you at least got her man to take his shirt off and show off his muscles for a while.”
“I’m not here to check his abs,” my father countered. “I have better ways of doing that. I’ll just toss him to Amanda and watch her set him straight. Then his abs are used in an appropriate fashion while he better learns how to guard my daughter. Amanda likes when mated pairs get rowdy because she took one down like Nadine does a fresh steak.”
