Page 13 of Plaidypus
My mouth dropped open. “Excuse me? I don’t even taste all that good?”
“Crap,” my brother muttered. “I’m sorry. I drink because I need to, not because you’re a tasty treat.”
The three vampire women gaped at my brother.
“But she smells delicious,” Nancy spluttered.
“See? Nancy thinks I’m delicious.” I blinked, then I regarded the woman with interest. “Wait, you think I smell delicious?”
“You really do. Lycanthropes are a treat, and your virus is mature enough you’re a good vintage. Lycanthropes are excellent meals for us. That’s why we’re with Leonard rather than regular humans. His virus is robust enough to handle us taking sips if there aren’t any donors available. We’re also less inclined to view him as dinner, as he’s a rival predator.”
Great. Her words implied the man was available, which would make it a challenge containing both of my beasts, who were delighted with the information. “And your incubus?”
“He’s securing our supper. He’ll cut a deal with some humans who are strapped for cash and are willing to have a good time in the process. He gets to feed while we’re feeding, and depending on who he brings, we might all get to party before we get to the proper feeding stage of our night. He’s aware of the town’s peculiarities, so he’s out hunting farther afield. We’re to give him a call if we found a vampire in need of a donor.” Nancy looked my brother over. “You look like you’re just going to be a dream to work with.”
My brother made no effort to hide his interest in the woman. “You think so?”
“Oh, I know so. Young vampires are always energetic. I might even take you home to meet Papa.”
The kettle spared Nancy from my explorations into the durability of vampires, and rather than wrap my hands around her throat, I retreated to make my hot chocolate.
FOUR
Can you confirm if I’m adopted?
Three hours into the visit by the three vampires and their pet wolf, I ran out of hot chocolate.
With three vampires and their pet wolf aware of my brother’s status as a vampire, I didn’t dare to leave to get more. With hot chocolate, I could have handled the situation.
Without hot chocolate, I ran a high risk of breaking down into frustrated tears. Hinting they should leave hadn’t done me any good. I amused them. My brother, in a complete failure to read my mood, promised I’d be less cranky soon, after I replenished my hot chocolate supply.
“I’ve never tested someone to see if their blood contained copious amounts of hot chocolate. I’ve tried it on coffee drinkers, though,” Leonard said, fiddling with his meter. “Thereisa setting in here to test for caffeine addiction, though. I can run the tests if you’d like, Miss Lavigne. I do need to confirm your virus levels.”
“They poked me three times,” my brother reminded me. “I didn’t die again.”
I twitched at the reminder he’d already died once. As I’d come to the conclusion that Leonard would harp over the situation until I agreed to be tested, I thrust my arm out, turned my head, and growled curses under my breath. As Matthieu enjoyed when I invoked religious objects in blasphemous ways, I stuck to English profanities.
“I’m really sorry. This whole mess has made her quite surly.”
“It’s understandable,” Leonard said, approaching with his meter and chuckling. “It’s just a prick, and I’ll run the comprehensive test, so you only have to do it once. The tests I ran on your brother are for specific things, so they take a great deal less time to process. As you’re already irritated, I’ll make this as easy on you as possible. If you have any questions, ask. I’ll be able to pull out anything you want to know about your genetics, including cancer risk, anything concerning you may want to be aware of in case you decide to have children, and any possible health concerns. Lycanthropes tend to do well on the health front, though, once the virus has had a chance to adapt your body. It’ll be our top priority to transition your brother to other donors, as your virus needs a chance to settle without being constantly barraged.”
I inhaled, held my breath until the worst of my irritation eased, and exhaled. “All right. I’m ready. Can you confirm if I’m adopted? Maybe Matthieu was adopted.”
“What did Mom say to earn that?” my brother asked, and when I glared at him, he raised a brow. “You know full well neither one of us was adopted.”
Well, damn it. Busted. Why couldn’t he ever let me get away with anything? “She made a horrible pun about you and stakes.”
He snickered. “She would. I’m man enough to handle our mother cracking terrible puns about my new status as a vampire.”
“She didn’t even do it on purpose.”
“Of course she didn’t. She’s our mother. This is what she does. She opens her mouth and puns fly out. The only difference between her punning accidentally and on purpose is if she bothered to think before speaking. Leonard, I’m sorry for Nadine. She gets anxious sometimes.”
A slight prick to my thumb informed me Leonard stole my blood and ran his precious test. After a moment, he said, “Anxiety is normal and to be expected. An anxious lycanthrope is a dangerous lycanthrope, so we’ll take steps to make certain that the triggers for her anxiety are addressed. For now, that means I’ll stay around here in case any unwanted people from town come calling while the ladies go get their supper once their incubus finishes his hunt. I’ll try to stay out of the way. The intent is to prevent problems rather than infringe on your territory.”
Nancy showed off her fangs in a wide grin. “Vampires get territorial, especially over their dinner. Lycanthropes get territorial around food and potential mates. You are both single, and there’s little as entertaining as single lycanthropes dancing around each other while determining if they’re compatible. Leonard could use someone scratching him behind the ears and making him purr.”
The wolf heaved a sigh. “I’m not a cat. I do not purr.”
