Page 71 of What It's Like in Words
“Ouch, babe. How did you get that?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Seriously, are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I—”
“No, don’t say anything. It’s okay. We got a bit overenthusiastic, didn’t we?” He laughs again. “Come on.” He sits us both up against the pillows and strokes my hair. It is almost nice until his fingers move down to my arm, the inside of my elbow, my waist, the side of my breast…
“No, stop. Juststop it, Virinder.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. But this was a mistake. I think you should go. Please, can you go?”
“Baby girl, you’re trembling!” He moves closer. “Have I done something wrong?”
“No, not at all. It’s me, it’s all me. I’m sorry.”
He nods his head like he understands. “Do you want to meet tomorrow and talk about—”
“No!”
“No?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Can you stop apologizing?”
“Sorry.”
Virinder stares down at his thighs, smoothing the fabric with his thumb. Then he speaks in little more than a breath. “It’s him, right? God, I’m such a schmuck!”
“Don’t say ‘schmuck.’”
“What should I say then?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry.”
He turns his lips under and nods repeatedly. “I wasn’t sure whether I should tell you this, but I had plans for us.” He waits for me to say something, but when I don’t, he continues. “I wanted to take you back with me to Mumbai this summer. My cousin’s getting married and I wanted you to be there. I almost bought the tickets.” He looks at me without moving his head.
“Are you waiting for me to say thank you?”
He slaps his thighs. “No, I don’t want you to saythank you, Enola.”
I grit my teeth. “Don’t you? Because whenever you do something nice for me you remind me that you’ve done it.”
“Well, is it so bad to want someone to tell you that they appreciate you? Besides, I only told you about the wedding because I wanted you to know that I was all in, yeah? I’mstillall in. So, if you’re not, then you need to stop this.”
“Stop what?”
“Leading me on!”
“Leading you…?” I restart carefully. “Look, I’m genuinely sorry about tonight, and for ruining the plans I didn’t know you had made for us, but I feel like you’re rewriting things a little bit. This is the first time we’ve spoken since the breakup.”
“That was barely two weeks ago!”
“I know but—”
