Page 66 of Sinner's Steel
He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. “I got away and ran to the trailer. My old man was there. He saw my face and figured I’d got into a fight. Told me I was good for nothing. Twice in one night. I’d been sticking around because of you but I’d had enough. I figured I’d convince you to run away with me. I’d find us a place in Missoula while you were going to college, take odd jobs to support us… I packed my bag and told the old man I wouldn’t be back. But when I stepped outside, your dad was there.”
She fisted his shirt like she needed to hold on, so he stroked his hand down her back, over and over again as he fell back into that night. “I knew why he was there when I saw the gun.”
Silence. But he’d expected that, dredging up memories he was sure she had buried forever. So he held her like he should have held her that night, instead of running off and leaving her to deal with her dad’s death alone. “He said he couldn’t take the risk that I’d tell you what was going on. He was afraid you’d go to the cops because you were such a fucking good person. He loved you but he didn’t understand love. He needed you to think he was a hero because he knew he was a piece of shit.”
“Oh, God,” she whispered. “I think my mother knew. Some of the things she said… I think that’s why she started drinking.”
“He was acting crazy that night, Evie.” Zane held her tight, as much for him as for her. “I think he was so afraid of losing you he wasn’t thinking straight. He said he had to protect you from scum like me. My dad heard what was going on and came out of the trailer with a gun. Told your dad to leave me alone. I was so shocked my old man was standing up for me, I didn’t see your dad pull the trigger. But my dad did. He threw himself in front of me and took the bullet.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “Then everything was a blur. I ran at your dad, pounded on him ’till he was down. Then I ran back to check on my old man. Your dad came at us with the gun. His fucking eyes were wild. I reached for my dad’s weapon…”
“No, Zane.” Tears streaked Evie’s cheeks. “No, don’t tell me. I changed my mind.”
“I’m gonna tell you sweetheart ‘cause I don’t want to keep any more secrets from you. I should have told you before, but I didn’t want to hurt you. But now I know how strong you are. Stronger than me.”
Evie leaned up, brushed a kiss over her lips. “We’re strong together.”
Damn, what a woman. But she was wrong about being strong together. He’d never met anyone like Evie. She’d gone through hell and come out of it unscathed, made a life for herself and his son, and still saw joy in the world. “My old man grabbed his gun off me.” He spoke quickly now, desperate to get it done. “He told me once I killed someone there was no going back. He said he’d been no dad to me but he knew he wasn’t going to make it and he wanted to do one thing for me before he died. He wanted just one time to be a good dad. Then he pulled the trigger.”
A shudder ran through his body, ripping him apart. That was the night he’d been consumed by darkness. The night he lost the light.
They hugged each other. Held each other. Her hand on his back. His hand in her hair.
“A coupla neighbors came out of their trailers and started shouting that I killed the sheriff,” he said, once he could breathe again. “My prints were on the gun. My tracks were everywhere. I had your dad’s words in my head that I was nothing. I panicked. I figured they’d want to put someone in jail and since my old man was dead it was gonna be me. I was an easy target and once they had a scapegoat they wouldn’t look for the truth. I had no faith in the system. I didn’t think anyone would believe a trailer kid. So I ran. And the further I got, the more it made sense to leave you alone, let you have a good life. Then the darkness took over, Evie, and I was lost until Jagger found me.” He tilted her head back and met her gaze. “That’s the truth of it.”
“I believe you.”
He felt those words deep in his chest, filling a void in his soul, assuaging a fear that he had carried since the day he left Stanton. “I’m sorry about your dad, sweetheart.”
She straddled his lap, sliding her knees on either side of his hips, the curve of her sex pressed tight against his cock that was hardening again despite the bitter past he’d dragged into the light.
“Make it go away, Zane. For both of us. I don’t want to think. I just want to feel. I want you inside me. I want to drown in you until I don’t know anything else.”
Sweeter words he’d never heard, but it was what they meant that beat the last of the darkness away.
Forgiveness.
But could he forgive himself? Every mile he’d driven away that night had made it harder to contemplate going back. Each day had made him more certain it was best he stayed away until he was worthy and had something to offer other than just his love. Every time he looked at Ty, he was reminded of the mistake he’d made, everything he’d missed, and how he’d left his girl unprotected and she’d be taken by another man.
Never again.
He eased her down on the bed and stretched out beside her, propping his head up with his hand as he caressed her beautiful body. His hand dipped into her narrow waist and then out again over the curve of her hip, and then over the soft skin of her thigh.
“Are you trying to drive me crazy?” She slid a hand over his shoulder, cupping the back of his neck to draw him down to her lips. And then all thoughts of being slow and gentle faded away beneath the primal need to take her.
He rolled until he lay on top of her, one leg tucked between her thighs, pressed against the moist heat of her pussy. With his forearms on either side of her head, he devoured her mouth, drinking her down as if dying of thirst. Evie rocked her hips against his shaft, each small motion a sweet, painful pleasure.
“Shirt,” she panted, reaching beneath the press of his body. “Off.”
“Panties. Now. Or I’ll tear them from you.” He sat up and tore his shirt over his head, then helped her slide her panties over her hips. For a moment, he couldn’t move, drinking in her beauty, from her soft curves, to the red-gold curls at the juncture of her thighs, to her lush breasts tipped with dusky rose nipples, to the face that had haunted his dreams.
Evie blushed and turned away, her hands coming up and over her breasts. “Zane…”
Gently, he tugged her hands away. “You’re beautiful, sweetheart. Let me look.”
Her blush spread down her neck, teasing the crescents of her breasts. On impulse, he leaned forward and drew a nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking the hard peak, his hand caressing her softness until her blush had gone and she writhed on the bed beside him. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled him down, sliding under his body until he had to drop his weight to his arms for fear of crushing her.
“I never really got to look at you before.” He pressed a kiss to each of her breasts and then feathered his lips down her body, tasting the salt on her skin, inhaling the light floral fragrance of her perfume. Her hands clutched his hair as he followed the dip in her stomach, and when he circled her belly button with his tongue, she trembled.
His cock protested its confinement when he reached her mound, but this was about Evie, her pleasure, her need. He slid down the bed and Evie widened her legs to accommodate his shoulders, her heels digging firmly into the mattress, her hips rocking up to the heat of his mouth. But he wanted to draw it out, savor her. So he pressed a kiss to the soft skin of her inner thigh and continued his descent, kissing his way down her long lean legs until he reached her feet.
