Page 83 of Beyond the Cut
“Did you just tell a joke, Banks?” Dawn shared an incredulous glance with Arianne. “I think Banks just told a joke.”
“Write down the date and time. I think it only happens once every five years.”
Banks gave Dawn’s shoulder a squeeze. “Why are you doing this? Even if you found out who it was, how would you get them to testify? Dirt bags don’t answer subpoenas and they tend to disappear when they know the police are looking for them. And if you go into witness protection, they’ll bury that court decision and you’ll have the girls back.”
“I can’t let Jimmy win. When I go into witness protection, I’ll lose everything I built since I came to Conundrum. Even my name. I can deal with that, although I’m going to miss you guys something fierce. I’ll be back where I started, rebuilding my life all over again. But what I can’t deal with is the fact that there is a document out there that says I’m an unfit mother. I’ll always be afraid it will come to light and I’ll lose them. I want to clear my name. I want to know no one can take my girls away. I want to fight back.”
Arianne gave her a searching look. “Then why are you running away? If you run, you’ll always be looking over your shoulder. You’ve always been a strong person. But since you hooked up with Cade, you found just how deep that strength goes, especially when you have support. Believe in yourself and the life you choose to live. That’s what Sinners do. That’s our creed. And that’s what it means to wear the cut.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be wearing it.” She stroked a hand along the soft, black leather. “Ever since I put it on, I’ve been doing things that really aren’t me.”
“The cut is neither here nor there.” Banks closed his laptop. “Hell, you got away from that bastard and made a life for yourself on your own and every time he threw you a curveball, you hit it out of the park. But some fights you can’t win on your own. And right now, you’ve got a team of damn Sinners on your side. You got a coach who’ll go to bat for you if you want to drive that ball straight at the pitcher.”
“Write that down, too,” Arianne said. “I didn’t know Banks knew that many words. I also didn’t know he knew anything about baseball.”
“I know another word,” he muttered. “Fired. I’m gonna get myself some staff that aren’t old ladies and know how to treat their boss with the proper respect.”
“I’m not…” Dawn cut herself off.An old lady. But she was. Although she’d been tempted to hand the cut back to Cade after she called Doug, something held her back. She wasn’t ready to give up. At least, not yet.
“You wanna watch it again,” Banks said. “Maybe it will trigger a memory second time around.”
“No. It was pretty much what happened. Although I’d forgotten about the sticker.”
A sparkly purple heart.
Dawn sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh my God. I know who took the video.”
***
“Hey, brother.” Jagger pulled up a chair across the table from Cade in the corner of Banks Bar. Cade scowled and poured himself another shot. He just wanted to be left alone to drink in peace. Just like he’d been doing for the last four days since Arianne had called to tell him Dawn was going into witness protection.
“I thought you and Gunner were heading out to a party. He said you ditched him at the last minute.”
“Changed my mind.” He tossed back the shot and closed his eyes as the liquor burned down his throat. He’d switched from bourbon to whiskey this afternoon, needing something with more of a kick.
Jagger covered Cade’s glass when he reached for the bottle to pour another shot. “Does this mean you’ll be here for the Brethren party tomorrow night?”
“Won’t let my brothers down.”
Cade signaled Arianne to bring Jagger a glass. Dawn still hadn’t arrived for her shift and Cade wondered if she would show at all. She was running scared, and although he understood her fear, he couldn’t understand why she didn’t trust him to protect her. Mad Dog’s scare tactic had worked too damn well.
“I shouldn’t have asked her to join the club.” He brushed Jagger’s hand away and refilled his glass. “It just inflamed the situation. Actually, I shouldn’t have stopped to talk to her that day outside the school. Then none of this would have happened.”
“It was Dawn’s choice to join the Sinners,” Jagger said. “She knew how it might play out. And if you hadn’t stopped to talk to her, we would never have found out the Brethren were looking to patch over to the Jacks. The deal would have been done and we would all be dead.”
Cade lifted his glass and stared at the brilliant amber liquid. Sometimes when the light hit her just right, he saw amber flecks in Dawn’s eyes, and then those beautiful lashes would sweep down over her cheeks and he’d get distracted by her lush little mouth.
“I made the wrong fucking decision when I agreed not to go after Mad Dog. And every time he stepped out of line and we didn’t act, the situation just got worse.”
“You did it for the club, brother. No one will forget that. And you couldn’t have known how it would play out. Just like when you were ambushed and lost your men. Sometimes shit happens that we can’t control. You trust yourself to make the best decision you can in the circumstances and then you deal with the consequences. But you don’t let it bring you down.”
“Dawn’s going into witness protection because I wasn’t there for her. That’s not a consequence I can accept.” Cade lifted the glass and lowered it again. He felt like shit: eyes bleary, stomach churning, and a headache that just wouldn’t quit. Did he really want to do this to himself again? Drown his guilt in liquor and the soft arms of strangers? There was nothing down that road but pain and emptiness, and this time his brothers wouldn’t be there to save him.
“You were there for her just how she needed you to be.” Jagger pulled his chair closer. “You made her see the Sinner she had inside. Hell, the woman I first met here in the bar over a year ago is not the same woman who stood up in my office, instructed us on how to play our own political game, and told my executive board where to go.”
But now, after Mad Dog had destroyed any chance of her clearing her name, she was thinking of running away. She’d let fear get the better of her. Just like he’d let guilt get the better of him.
“And you did the same for the club.” Jagger leaned across the table, his voice insistent. “You reminded us what it means to be a Sinner, what it means to follow the creed.”
