Page 64 of Chaos Bound
“Talk to me,” he said softly. “If I hurt you, I need to know. If it was too much…”
“I thought I could handle it, but I can’t.” She bit her lip, trembling. “I wanted to know Holt the Sinner. I wanted to know how far you would go and how rough you could be. I wanted to give you what you needed, but it was too much. You’ll never be able to let go with me. It all came back… Viper… the assault.”
He cupped her face in his hands, stared into her eyes. “There is no Holt the Sinner. The only Holt is the one you know, and I want you in any way I can have you. If that was too much, we don’t do it again.”
Naiya covered his hands with her. “It’s not just that. I’m not a biker chick. I don’t want to be around bikers again. You need your brothers. You need a woman who loves the life and can give you what you want. That’s not me. I don’t want to be part of the club. When you go back to the Sinners, to Tank, I can’t go with you.”
“Then I won’t go.” He settled on the bed beside her and picked up the remote, casually flicking through the channels as if he hadn’t just decided to turn his back on a life he clearly loved and the brother who had openly wept when he found him.
“Seriously?” Her voice rose in pitch. “You’re just going to turn your back on them? For me?”
Holt shrugged. “You’re the best fucking thing that’s happened to me. The only thing in my life that makes sense. Tank said the brothers came looking for me, but I don’t know if I believe him, and even if it’s true, I don’t know if I can go back. I’m a different man now. I got different goals. Viper’s after you, and I’m gonna protect you with my last dying breath.”
She shook her head, her momentary despair fading away beneath a mix of concern and exasperation. He needed to go back to his club, reconcile with his brothers, hear them out. That’s how things were supposed to go. After hating them for so long, he needed closure. How could he make a decision about the future when he hadn’t dealt with the past? How could she?
“Did anyone ever tell you that you have a flare for drama and a very irritating stubborn streak?”
“Tank.”
Naiya twisted her ring around her finger. “Tank who is even now probably sitting downstairs waiting for you to show? He was so excited about taking you back to the club. He loves you Holt. If you don’t go, it will tear him in two.”
Holt lifted an eyebrow. “Then come for Tank if you won’t do it for me.”
Naiya stared at him, considering. Maybe she could deal with her past and help Holt at the same time. She could hang for a bit in the clubhouse, deal with her fear. She didn’t have to stick around. And she wouldn’t be alone. Despite their rough encounter, she trusted Holt more now, not less. His assurances and his willingness to just walk away for her, a geeky girl with a troubled past, made her want to reach inside and find the strength he seemed convinced she had.
She reached out and stroked a finger along his bristly jaw, more of an excuse to touch him than an invitation to start something new. She hadn’t made a mistake opening up to Holt. He made her feel wanted and cherished, even after she tried to push him away. But sharing her pain and her body were not the same as sharing her heart. She needed to keep her walls up, protect herself. Despite his protests, Holt was a Sinner. What would happen if he decided to stay?
NINETEEN
TANK
T-Rex was alive!
Tank mounted his bike outside Rider’s Bar and accelerated down the street. If he went back inside, he would be tempted to share his secret, and he’d promised to give T-Rex time.
He’d never broken a promise and he didn’t intend to start now. Especially when T-Rex was involved.
Christ.That moment when he saw T-Rex on the sidewalk… Never in a million years would he have guessed that today would end with T-Rex coming home.
With his bike on full throttle he hit the highway and blasted down the road. He couldn’t go back to the clubhouse because he was burning to share his secret, his joy, and the absolute thrill of discovering his searching, his hope, and his faith hadn’t been in vain.
This night deserved a toast, but T-Rex didn’t want to go for a drink. He was worried about Naiya.
Sweet girl. Beautiful. Spine of steel, walking into Rider’s Bar the way she did and going behind T-Rex’s back to save him. But Tank didn’t get that relationship. She was the opposite of the loud, brash, chatty girls T-Rex usually went for—women who were the life of the party, aggressive, confident, and a challenge to get into bed. Ironically, Naiya was Tank’s type, and Ella was T-Rex’s type.
Ella who had hacked into his phone.
What the fuck was he going to do? He couldn’t face the humiliation of telling his brothers, and there was always the risk they would tell Jagger, and he would be kicked out of the club. T-Rex would have kept his secret, but he couldn’t burden his brother on the eve of his return. He would have to sort out the problem himself. Tank had been played, and now it was his turn to do the playing. He had to find out what Ella had learned from going through his phone and what she intended to do with the information. Failure wasn’t an option.
After fuelling up his bike and buying a good bottle of whiskey as an excuse for his visit, he drove to Ella’s house in a fancy suburb of Conundrum. He parked at the end of the block and walked past the assorted BMWs, Aston Martins and Bentleys, pausing to admire what had to be one of the coolest fucking bikes he’d ever seen: a Harley Sportster bobber boasting ape hangers and custom paint on the tins, all black and red to match the painted rims. It had been totally modded out and polished to a high shine. Someone had dropped some serious cash and some serious time into that bike. It was all about power and show, the kind of bike a president would ride.
With the bagged whiskey in one hand, he knocked on Ella’s door. She hadn’t answered the text he’d sent her, but he’d taken a chance she was at home, and he was glad he did. Her car was in the driveway, and the lights were on. Party time.
He heard swearing, the thud of feet, and then Ella pulled open the door.
Tank had never seen her look anything other than impeccably groomed. Even when she’d tried to seduce him the other night, she remained perfectly composed. But now, she was totally disheveled, her lipstick smeared, her hair tangled, and the pristine white silk robe she had teased him with the other day was dirty and torn.
“Ella? You okay?”
