Page 74 of A Light in the Dark
“It’s an Earth vintage baking casserole dish, and it’s probably well over three hundred years old,” he informed me. When he finished washing the dish, he flipped it over to show me the stamp on the bottom, which was the same color of the dish itself and carved into it. “I spotted the stamp when you flipped it, and this is just not something people here counterfeit. She probably saw you hauling in your roses and acquired one for you.”
I stared at the dish with wide eyes. “Who did she murder to get it?”
“Before the portals were closed, Earth antiques were shipped across with shocking frequency, and Stonecreek is a hotbed of Earth antiquities. I only knew what this was because I have its sister dish at home. It’s very probably authentic, too.”
“And shebakedwith it?”
“She baked poison for you in it,” he corrected.
“It was delicious poison, so she’s off the hook.” I grabbed the paper announcing my graduation from her poisoning class. “I have a degree now!”
Both men stared at me, and after heaving a sigh, Joel dried off the dish and placed it on one of my potholders on the counter. “My lasagna pan is also from Earth, but it was a more modern construction, and they’re designed to last a lifetime. It’s made with similar tech as our stuff, but it’s from Earth metals, and the specific line is resistant to rust. I treat mine like the treasure it is, and I even thank her for my pan every time I see her. In bad news, you will receive a monthly gift of poison for the rest of your life, because she will not want your immunity to toxins to expire. But at least you know what you’re eating, and she’ll give you directions for what to look out for.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you eating poisoned cobbler once a month, Joel?”
He nodded.
“And you’re sitting there yelling at me for not stopping to think there was something wrong with the cobbler?”
“I am.”
“I get a monthly hit of the death cobbler for graduating?”
“You do.”
I gave my hands a wash, huffed, and went to my front door, grabbed my keys, shoved my feet into my shoes, and skipped down the hill, hopping up the stairs and knocking on Elenora’s door.
Joel tagged along, and judging from his expression, he thought I’d lost my mind.
I probably had.
Elenora’s husband, a bent old man with an attitude, opened the door and regarded me with a raised brow. “Elenora!”
As the bastard was likely involved with the poisoning, I gave him a hug. “I am not a hussy, and I’m going to forgive you for thinking I am, but I have been told I get a monthly hit of the death cobbler.”
He patted my back and snorted a laugh. “I see Joel has been snitching.”
“Hey, Ritchy,” Joel greeted, coming up the steps behind me. “I was helping her bring in some things and saw the dish. It’s a beauty. I have the same one at home.”
“I’ve got the rest of the set for the little missy, but she gets it with her monthly deliveries of death cobbler until she’s gotten used to the idea. I am quite amused she’s named it death cobbler.”
“She was eating it because she likes strangleberry.”
“You’re an idiot, little missy,” Ritchy informed me. “Elenora! The little missy likes your strangleberry.”
Elenora showed up, spotted me, and grinned. “Did you actually eat the cobbler?”
“Hell no,” I replied, and I showed her my hands. “I got that crap all over my hands, though, so I appreciate the check if I need to go in. If I don’t, I’m going to raid a craft store and make a cozy for my new dish.”
“Good girl. Did you not eat it because you recognized all the nice ways I could kill you in it?”
I nodded.
“Then my work here is done. Excellent. Joel, take her on home, feed her up, and tuck her into your bed and keep aneye on her. The skin contact poisons pack a doozy, and I knew she’d be too smart to eat it; she’s got a good head on those pretty shoulders, and I was tracking when she’d brave the cobbler.”
Sneaky woman. “I admire your ruthlessness and willingness to inflict misery, ma’am.”
“And now you won’t get sick by anything Stonecreek has to throw at you. Joel got my tender, loving care because he’s a country boy, and them country boys ain’t the brightest at times.”
