Page 77 of Dirty Diana
“I didn’t know you were coming over. Did I give you this address?”
“I need to talk. I hope that’s okay?” The door opens up to the living room, with a kitchen off to the right. The place is small but tidy, with blond wood floors and beamed ceilings. I’d been hoping for more of a Top Ramen and mattress on the floor vibe. “This is nice,” I say brightly. “Much better than a hotel,” I add, so he’ll know he’s off the hook for not telling me.
“I like it.” Oliver stands in the foyer, seeming uncertain what to do next. Behind him, I hear water running from what must be the shower. Through the living room, the sliding glass doors are open onto the deck, with a small café table and two chairs.
And two empty wineglasses.
When I turn to him with the obvious question on my face, he’s ready with the answer. “That was a friend. We were just having a glass of wine. Which I gather you have too? Maybe you need some food. Why don’t we go to Delmonico’s?”
“Oliver. It’s late.”
“Of course. Right. What about Sam’s? They’re open late?”
“I’m happy here.”Keep things light,I tell myself. I can’t ruin it right off the bat by seeming wounded—I need to be fun and playful. Of course I want to know who the friend was, but I won’t ask. “Go ahead and shower; I hear it running. We can talk when you’re done.” I almost offer to join him, but something about seeing those wineglasses has sobered me.
“Right. Just give me five minutes.”
While I wait, I lap the living room. On the side table, I see a framed picture of Emmy from when she was four years old, all arms and legs and big front teeth. “Where did you find this? I haven’t seen it in forever!” I remember it was taken on a father-daughter camping trip. They’d come home covered with mosquito bites and Emmy beaming that she’d jumped off the highest rock into the river. I remember the way Oliver stood behind Emmy and shook his head, mouthing,Not that high,just so I wouldn’t have to imagine Emmy in danger. I walk toward the bathroom holding the picture. “Oliver, I love this picture. Where did you even find it?”
And that’s when I see it. A felt cowboy hat with a big pink feather, sitting on the arm of the couch. The cowboy hat Raleigh made herself.
My legs stop working and I lean against the wall for support. Was Raleigh the one drinking wine with Oliver? Is this why Oliver is tryingto rush me out of his house? Is she in the shower?Go! Go now,I tell myself.Leave before you have to see her.I rush toward the door, hugging the picture of Emmy to my chest, my heart beating hard against it, but I’m not quick enough.
“Diana?” Behind me, Raleigh’s voice is soft.
This is so far from the plan that I dreamed up I feel as if I’ve stumbled into someone else’s plan. Someone with a cruel sense of humor.
“Hey,” Raleigh moves closer, but I can only shake my head as I try to unlock Oliver’s front door. There seem to be about four extra bolts and none of them are opening.
“It’s the top one, Diana,” she says gently. “Just pull it.”
“Please don’t talk to me. Please.” My hands are shaking so hard the picture frame slips from my grasp and hits the floor.
“How did you even know I was here?” Oliver has appeared again and picks up the frame.
“Fuck you, Oliver. We’remarried.” My plan to be fun, easy-on-Oliver Diana has flown fully south.
Oliver’s T-shirt is stuck to him and I can’t tell if it’s from the shower steam or his own flop sweat, but either way the body beneath is unfamiliar, muscular and hard.
“I’m not doing anything wrong,” he says, his voice rising with defensiveness. “You agreed to this.”
“It’s been about thirty seconds, Oliver, and no, I never agreed to you fucking my friend.”
“Let’s talk about this in therapy. I’m not doing this with just you.” I swear I see him look back at Raleigh, as if to a coach on the sideline. “It’s too toxic.”
“Toxic? Oh god.” I roll my eyes and keep them on the ceiling, praying for godly hands to reach down and extract me. Or at least unlock the fucking door.
“Diana, please. Why don’t you stay and we can talk this through,” Raleigh says.
The room spins, but I manage to grab the photo from Oliver and get out the door. I take the stairs this time, running down every flight and out into the night. I hear Oliver’s footsteps racing behind me.Now he’ll take me in his arms. Now he’ll realize his mistake.
“Diana. Diana, stop. You showed up here.” In the parking lot, he catches me by the shoulder. “Youleftme.”
“I know. It was a mistake to suggest the break. But I was flailing. I never thought you would agree.”
Oliver studies my face, but I don’t know what he’s looking for. I couldn’t rearrange it the way he wants if I tried. “That’s not what I’m talking about, Diana. I mean you left memonthsago. I’ve wanted nothing more than to be close to you. I would have doneanythingfor you, Diana. Anything.”
My shoulders drop. The fight drains out of me. “So ask her to leave and let’s talk. Just you and me.”
