Page 78 of Dirty Diana
Oliver lets go of my arm. He looks at his hands, then up to the sky. He seems to consider the stars, their light cutting through the thick, humid night. “I can’t do that right now.”
I take an involuntary step backward, like I’ve been pushed. Oliver looks as innocent and sweet as he ever has, but he isn’t the man I think I know. “Then go back upstairs,” I say. “But don’t youdarethink you’re the good guy in all this. Because you’re not.”
“Diana…”
“What.”My skin is on fire. I think I might burst into flames.
I spin on my heels and march deeper into the parking lot, which is pointless, because I have no car here, but Oliver doesn’t know that. I wait for him to come after me again, for him to realize that I’m too drunk to drive and to worry about how I’m getting home.
I’m not more than five paces along before I sense his absence. I turn and he’s gone.
Fuck.Fuckfuckfuck.I consider calling L’Wren but it’s too humiliating; her expectations for tonight might have been even higher than mine. I pull out my phone and order a ride. Nine minutes away.Shit.Mosquitoes halo my head and I slap one against my neck, another on my arm. I’ll be eaten alive out here. I walk back to the entrance to the building, hoping I might be able to wait in the lobby. The door is locked. Of course. I imagine the cringing embarrassment of ringing Oliver’s doorbell again to ask if I could wait inside. That would really be the perfect ending to this horrible night. I lean back against the glass door, tears stinging the edges of my eyes. Seconds pass like minutes and there is a light tap on the glass. I pull away and see that it is Raleigh, in workout leggings and a powder-pink sports bra. The evening could in fact get worse.
She opens the door and glances at the phone in my hand. “Do you need a ride?”
“No,” I say, the flames of my anger completely doused by the woman I thought was my friend. A woman I had invited into my home and comforted. That I shared secrets with.
“I’m so sorry,” Raleigh says. “I know that was awkward. But if it makes you feel any better, we mostly just talk.”
Mostly.I will myself not to cry. “What do you want?”
“We can still be friends. This doesn’t have to change anything.”
I want to laugh. This changes everything. “I don’t think so, Raleigh. We were barely even friends to begin with.”
“I didn’t think anything was going to happen between us. But we were both so…lonely. That morning we went running we realized how much we both needed it, as a lifeline. So we take long runs sometimes.”
“Raleigh. Oliver and I are still married.” I see the car on my app slowly wending its way to me and decide to walk to the corner to meet it. Anything to get away.
“That’s really unfair, Diana. The only reason you want him is because someone else does. Why can’t you just admit that it’s over between you two?”
“Are you serious? We’re going through a hard time and you justmade it so much harder. If you were really a friend, you would have chosen someone else’s husband.”
She looks wounded. “Well, I don’t want you doing anything with my story. Whatever you’re doing with those interviews, it’s not art.”
She’s unbelievable. I never even asked. “Like I give a shit, Raleigh. Stay away from me.”
“Does Oliver know?”
“Know what?”
“Does he know about your interviews?”
“Good night, Raleigh.”
“So he doesn’t know. Hmm. Just a piece of advice. I’d keep that all to yourself. Because one thing about Oliver? I can’t see him getting back together with a woman who makes porn.”
“Oh, Raleigh.” I turn away and give her the finger, hand held high above my head as I walk off.
My head throbs and tears prick my eyes. I stumble toward the headlights of my Lyft as it heads directly for me, and for a long moment I’m not sure whether the driver spots me emerging from the darkness or not.
Chapter 24
—
My phone buzzes for a fifth time and this time I grab it, in case it’s Oliver or the school or anything Emmy-related. I scroll through the texts, none of them from Oliver. They’re from L’Wren and two other carpool moms at Emmy’s school. I quickly dial L’Wren.
“Oh, honey, why haven’t you picked up? I’ve been calling you all morning.”
