Page 69 of Hot Nights in Morocco
“I don’t want to talk about this. Not here.” He indicates to the growing crowds around us. Over by the security station the guards are multiplying like lemmings, and they’re all pointing their walkie-talkies in our direction.
He leads me over to the small airport café. We seek out a broken kind of solace in a private booth at the back, taking up two seats opposite each other, invisible battle lines drawn on the dirty brown table between us.
“Who is she to you, Jake? I want thetruth, and not your messed-up version of it.” I’m determined not to cry, but the tears start streaming anyway.
He clenches his jaw. “Don’t do this. It’s not what you think.”
“Why do you always avoid my questions? Is it some inbuilt fuck Charlie mechanism?”
“There’s only one way I like fucking you, Books… You were right. Cassie did find out about us, but don’t ask me how. She was going to shop us to the press unless I broke it off. What I said in that room was for her ears only. I’d have told her I was screwing the queen of England if it’d shut her up.” He tips his head back and exhales loudly. “I have to keep you out of the limelight, Charlie. I told you that before. It’s for your own sake more than mine. I have enemies, big enemies, and they don’t fight fair. I allowed myself to be distracted before, and it blew up in my face.”
I’ve never seen him like this. Mr. Cool is spiraling. He goes to rake his hand through his hair, then stops and clasps it to the side of his head instead, as though he’s trying to push a bad memory away.
“So, let me get this right… You’re allergic to the truth, and you don’t do apologies. That’s quite a list of fuck you attributes you have there.”
“I’mallergic?” He snorts. “Damn, that’s rich coming from you.”
I make to stand immediately. I don’t like where this is heading.
He follows me out of the café and grabs my arm. “Charlie, wait.”
“No!”I push him away, but he closes the distance again in one stride. “I can’t do this with you right now, Jake.”
“The hell you can’t!”
He takes my face between his hands and slams his mouth down onto mine. I taste the sour tang of his frustration. I’m bathed in the warmth of his embrace. I kiss him back with an intensity of my own, but at the same time, I recognize this kiss for what it is. It’s no different from the one I saw him give Cassie all those months ago.
Jake doesn’t like to lose, but he doesn’t have a choice this time.
“Come back to the hotel,” he begs me. “I need to fuck you, to climb inside you. To forget the world exists for a while.”
“And when you’re done using me as a distraction, will you tell me about Sienna?”
There’s a brief flare of pain behind his eyes—a streak of lightening in a sea of black.
He drops my face, and I feel our emotional chasm deepen into an abyss.
“Who is she, Jake?” I ask, shattered by his reaction.
“A piece of my past who refuses to die quietly.” His eyes dart toward the exit and my heart sinks. The writing really is on the wall for us. Too bad I have twenty-twenty vision. “Who told you about her?”
“Cassie mentioned her last night, right before she slammed you for slumming it up with me. This woman— She meant something to you, didn’t she?”Did you love her once? Do you still?“Tell me about the scar on your wrist. Are they connected?”
“Why don’t you tell me aboutyours,” he says, turning it back on me so fast I can feel the whiplash. “And while you’re at it, tell me aboutyour father.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I croak.
He knows I’m lying. It’s written all over his face. “Tell me about him. Tell me what he did to you. Every damn night in your sleep I hear you begging your father not to play games with you. What the fuck happened to you as a kid?”
White spots cloud my vision. I can feel terror gripping at my insides. “Shut up,” I whisper. Tight-lipped. Desperate. “Just shut up.”
“He hurt you. I can still feel his shockwaves in everything you do. He’s the reason you can’t trust anyone, why you can’t allow yourself to be happy.”
“Please.” I start crying big, ugly tears, and they won’t stop.
Meanwhile, the airport’s security guards have finally located us and are closing in, encircling us like the wounded animals that we are.
Neither of us is willing to budge.
