Page 67 of Drive Me Wild
Can too, because I’m doing it right now.
I lift my head. “Why not?”
“Because in your other relationships, you neglected things you loved for their benefit, without getting the same things in return. You’re selfless, not selfish, Jos. And that’s amazing, but you tend to focus on others before yourself,” she explains. “Think about it. Does Theo ever make you feel like being your own person and spending time with him are mutually exclusive? Even when you were just friends?”
I don’t even have to think twice about it. “Never.”
In past relationships, I’ve felt like I had to give upsomethingto make room forsomeone. But with Theo, it’s different. I can spend time with him and not sacrifice spending time with myself. He gives me space while still always being there for me.
“Exactly,” Ella says. “Stop overthinking things and trust your gut, Jos.”
My conversation with Claude rushes through my head.Trust your gut, Josephine. No one knows you better than you, whether you’ve realized that or not. With the right people, you won’t have to worry. You’ll just know.
“Plus, Theo’s Theo. He’s not on the same playing field as any other guy. He talks about his dick in the third person, and he still thinks the phrase is ‘Florida ceiling windows’ and not ‘floor-to-ceiling windows,’ but that’s why we all love him, you know?”
A lightness fills my chest as I think about the man whose playfulness camouflages the pensive side of him. A man whose easy smile brightens any room he walks into and sets my entire body ablaze with a single unassuming stare. “You’re right.”
“I know.” She grins at me, her dimple popping up. “I’m always right. Just ask Blake.”
As I walk backto my hotel room, the sound of someone crooning a very horrible rendition of Justin Bieber’s “Sorry” echoes off the walls. That someone is a blue-eyed, tone-deaf Australian with a complete disregard for every other hotel guest. I have no idea how to evenbegindissecting what’s going on.
“You singing backup for the Biebs?” I call out as I approach him. “Or just trying to burst my eardrums?”
The moment he spots me, he jumps to his feet like a kangaroo and sweeps the hair from his forehead. “I thought you were inside and just ignoring me,” he admits. “Figured singing was a surefire way to catch your attention.”
“It definitely caught someone’s attention.” I laugh, nodding toward the couple staring at Theo from the other end of the hallway.
Opening the door so we can talk in private, I motion for Theo to follow me. I can feel him breathing down my neck as I make my way to the couch, the smell of his cologne flooding my senses. Sitting down, he leaves zero space between us, pressing his thigh against mine. Sparks of electricity crawl across my skin—an automatic reaction to being near him.
“I’m sorry for walking out earlier.” His lips tremble around the words, making his nerves clear, despite his calm demeanor. “I got overwhelmed and panicked and, well, as you can see, I’m not very good at this.”
I tuck my knees up to my chest and look at him. “At what?”
“Admitting to my best friend that I want relationship benefits, too.”
An accidental giggle breaks free. “Is that what you were doing? Because, if I recall correctly, you mildly accused me of using your penis as my personal pleasure palace.”
Placing his hand on my knee, he gives it a light squeeze. “Sorry ‘bout that, angel. Don’t know what I was rambling on about. I was so nervous, I temporarily blacked out.”
Resting my hand on top of his, I run my thumb against his knuckles. The tips of my fingers barely go past his middle knuckle. “I wasn’t saying I don’t want to be with you, Theo. But you came to me knowing what you wanted. You had time to think about it. I didn’t. I needed a moment to catch my breath. I never make big decisions without thinking them through, and you know that.”
“Have you had enough time?” He rubs his free hand up and down his bouncing legs. “You know… to think?”
I answer by teasingly elbowing his arm. “Is this your subtle way of reminding me how impatient you are?”
Shoulder pushing back, his back straightens. “No. This is me telling you that you’re worth the wait. If you need time to think it over, that’s cool with me.”
Taking a deep breath, I lean back and study the man—sometimes man-child— I’ve been spending my days laughing with and nights cuddling next to. Stubble pricks at my fingertips as I trail them against his movie-star jaw. Theo’s eyes follow my every move, watching me with an intensity that makes my cheeks burn. “Are you sure this is what you want? A relationship?”
“I want to be the one whose arms you fall asleep in. And if I’m not next to you, I want to be the one you’re thinking of when you lay in bed at night. I want to be the person whose touch you crave when you wake up. I want to be the one you look for in a crowded room, and the one you want to send memes to on Instagram. I want you and only you. I love you, Jos.”
I cup his cheeks, feeling the warmth of his skin on my palm. “Well, the good news is that I love you, too. A wild amount.”
I’m not sure who leans in first, but when our lips meet, it’s like my world is suddenly put back on its axis, turning in the right direction. Theo snakes his tongue in my mouth and tangles his fingers into the hair laying over the nape of my neck. A small whimper of content slips through my lips, and Theo eagerly accepts it.
Leaning back, I gently place my hands on his chest. His lustful eyes roam up and down my body. My legs, my waist, my chest, my neck, my lips, my face.
“If we do this?—”
