Page 36 of Drive Me Wild
He sticks his tongue out at me before disappearing back behind his menu. A well-dressed server approaches us to take our drink orders and, in a surprising turn of events, Theo agrees to split a bottle of wine with me.
“To a successful trip to Le Mans,” he says, tapping his glass against mine.
“Agreed.” I pray he can’t see my cheeks flushing in the dim lighting. “Thank you for bringing me.”
Theo nods before readjusting the silverware in front of him. “Can I ask you something personal?”
I nearly choke on my drink. Theo’s never prefaced any sort of question with permission. He usually just asks me with no warning, leaving me stunned silent or clutching my stomach as I laugh. “Sure?”
He wiggles in his seat nervously. “Why’d you break up with Andrew?”
I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to ask, given his propensity to play twenty-questions at any given moment.
“Why do you think I ended things?” I’m the one who panicked while seeing him at Blake’s party. If I were Theo, I’d think Andrew broke up with me, not vice versa.
“Any bloke lucky enough to have you would be an absolute idiot to let you go.”
A delicious warmth spreads through my body. His sweet words are the key that unlocks the details of my breakup. “When Andrew said he was ready to take the next step in our relationship and move in together, I was initially on board… but then we started talking about what I should bring.”
Theo gasps. “And he told younotto bring your absurd amount of Tupperware?”
I take a long sip of my wine to buy myself some time. According to the sommelier who picked it out for us, there should be notes of vanilla and ginger. I’m getting notes of wood chips after a rainstorm.
Theo leans back in his seat. “Shit. I was messing with you, Jos. Did he really say that?”
“Not exactly.” I sigh. “But when I was deciding what to keep and what to sell before the move, Andrew told me there was no need for me to bringanything.”
Not my brightly colored floral plates I bought at a flea market with my mum. Not the mismatched mugs I’ve collected over the years traveling the world with McAllister. Not my cloud-like couch that’s permanently dented from where I sit in the same place every time I binge-watchMasterChef. Why bring it when Andrew already has perfectly good dishes and a couch?
“It hit me that I was moving intohisplace, withhisstuff, inhisfavorite neighborhood. Nothing would ever feel like mine, you know?”
I toy with the stem of my wineglass, twirling it between my pointer finger and thumb. Theo separates my hand from my new distraction and rubs his thumb against the soft inside of my palm. My tightly coiled muscles instantly relax at his touch. “I went full quarter-life crisis mode because it hit me that, if we moved in together, I’d lose myself even more,” I admit. “I spent so much time prioritizing him instead of myself that I already felt lost. If we started living together, it’d just perpetuate the cycle of my life revolving around his. It made me realize I have no idea who I am when I’m not in a relationship. When it’s just me, myself, and I.”
Theo nods briefly before grinning at me with boyish charm. I don’t miss the way the corners of his mouth twist up with mischief. “I can easily tell you who you are, princess.”
“I’m not going to lie, I’m extremely nervous to hear your answer.”
“Besides having the best arse and tit combination I’ve ever encountered,” Theo says while leaning forward, “you’re extremely self-aware, frighteningly so. You like music so much because it’s a way to express how you’re feeling when you can’t find the right words yourself. You have a sweet smile with an even sweeter tooth, but you’re sassy as hell when you feel comfortable with someone. You’re also brilliant at your job, although I think you’d be damn good at any job. And despite what you think, you know yourself better than anyone.”
I inhale deeply to anchor myself in this moment, right here and now. “I know about you, too.”
Theo flicks up an eyebrow before flashing me a smile that could make any woman swoon. And this time, I am the woman who swoons at said smile. “Oi?”
“Mm-hmm.” I nod slowly, now stroking the inside of his palm with my thumb. “You have an insane ability to make anyone feel instantly comfortable. You like to know things, not only because you’re nosy, but because you want to understand people—what makes them tick; why they are the way they are. It’s why you’re so open. You’re also extremely competitive, but whether you realize it or not, McAllister is more than just a team for you. It’s a way for you to stay close to your dad and honor his memory.”
The restaurant could set on fire and I don’t think either of us would so much as flinch. The noise of side conversations, dishes clanking, servers listing specials—all of it fades away so the only thing I can hear is Theo’s shallow breathing and my heart pumping against my ribs.
“I’m sorry you felt like you didn’t know who you were,” he says, breaking the silence. “But I can’t say I’m sorry that it led to the end of your relationship.”
I snort and try to pull my hand back, but Theo tightens his grasp.
“No, I mean, you deserve someone who makes you feel like you’re the most gorgeous woman in the world, inside and out. Someone who worships the ground you walk on like it’s their religion. Someone who makes you a better version of yourself and doesn’t just support you, but challenges you, too. And if it took you a quarter-life crisis to figure that out… well, I'm not terribly disappointed about it, Jos. Andrew may be a decent guy, but you deserve way more than decent. You deserve the world.”
Um. Shakespeare called, he’d like his soliloquy back.
I don’t get a chance to respond before he chuckles and breaks the spell, saying, “Anything else you know about me, Dr. Freud?”
Leaning back into the seat, my hand slips from his grasp. “I also know you’re going to let me order slimy land creatures.”
